“Takers” takes a page out of Ocean’s 11

“Takers” is what would happen if they made another Ocean’s movie with a less talented cast and even less talented writing.

The movie is a thriller about a group of elite criminals, including man-meat Michael Ealy, Hayden Christensen, and Paul Walker, who get their money from bank heists. An ex-member of the crew, who went to the big house instead of ratting them out, is released and comes to them with an easy-money gig. Problem is the team isn’t sure that they can trust the smooth-talking con artist.

I’m not sure if it’s the writing or the acting inability of the cast, but “Takers” failed to hold my interest. Even suspenseful lines fell short of the drama that was intended. The writing includes a second storyline about a cop duo, played by Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez, who are trying to find the clever criminals. This painful attempt by the writers to add originality and drama to the film was like watching paint dry.

The film also borderlined on ridiculous. At one point, Matt Dillon’s character, vying for the Father of the Year award, tails the dangerous criminals with his young daughter in the car. He drives past them and the Takers are convinced that he can’t be a cop because no father would be such a schmuck as to go after them with his kid in the car. They’re not alone.

I found myself not caring what happened to the characters — not a good sign. Whoever did the casting must have been delusional to hire Chris Brown in a supporting role. It’s a shame for the film because one of the most incredible parts of the movie includes a chase scene with the woman beater. Nothing like alienating half your audience.

The last half of the movie tries to regain the audience’s favor by turning into a veritable Greek tragedy. This is the only original and interesting part of “Takers.” If you like bank heist movies, this is for you. But “Takers” fails to appeal to a wider audience. It’s a rainy day/ nothing-else-is-on kinda movie. And you’ll enjoy it with the fast-
forward button.

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