Diary of…A student’s emotional experience of the Japanese earthquake

Nozomu “Naz” Ozaki is a second-year doctoral student in family therapy. He likes sports, tai-chi, exercise, reading, eating, some cooking, and various forms of art. His interests include community work and the application of systems theory and cybernetics at multiple levels for others’ well-being.  Ozaki plans to work as a therapist or consultant after he graduates. He is a member of the Nova International Student Association (NISA), the Broward Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BAMFT) and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). His philosophy on life is, “Look at the lines that connect dots.”

As many know, a humanitarian disaster has happened in the north eastern part of Japan: a massive 9.0 magnitude earthquake followed by a huge tsunami, which prompted evacuation and warnings across the Pacific.

The earthquake and tsunami left more than 20,000 dead and missing. Millions in Japan have been affected by lack of electricity, gas, transportation, certain products, and so on. And there has been a crisis at the nuclear plant in the prefecture (state) of Fukushima.

This is what you hear from the media and nothing beyond, I think. And my effort in writing this article is to bring more than that, which is my account of going through this event. I believe it is very important for all of us to be aware of how this disaster has affected the lives of millions.

Although I did not experience the ground shaking and being swept away by the massive wave coming through, I have been affected at different levels. Yet, at the same time, I am aware of the negative effects of listening to someone going through a traumatic event. So, I’ve toned it down a bit, hoping that it would not impact you negatively.

When I first heard the news and looked at videos and photos of what was happening in Japan, it did not hit me. It did not come through as real. The huge wave wiped out cars, houses, buildings and people. Towns were under the water;  people were missing in debris, and things were turned over.

Still, I made a phone call to my family in Japan and heard that they were safe because most of my family and relatives live far away from the hypocenter. Yet, my mother told me that it took several attempts to get hold of my sister over the phone as she and her family live in the Kanagawa prefecture (state) near Tokyo. I exchanged emails with my sister and was informed that she and her family were safe although “it shook like crazy and was very scary.” In addition, there were occasional aftershocks and power was down. They had to go through restless nights.

People around me passed me their thoughts and prayers, and still it did not hit me. I felt numb because I did not know how to react. Still, I was glued to my computer monitor for hours and hours. I could not believe my eyes — no trace of life. At the same time, there was a disconnection between what was happening over there and what was happening here, which gave me a gut-wrenching feeling and confusion and frustration. I felt as if my mind was there without my body and it did not make sense.

It was only through listening to other people’s experiences, speaking my experience, and processing my experience that it gradually came through to me. Their voices and mine were all covered by the horrifying images of media. Then, all of a sudden, the huge desperateness hit me that I wanted to do something, something that I can do from here. And I imagine that if it took me a while for me to grasp the magnitude of the situation, it would be the same for others. I am talking about the gut feeling — the gut feeling that gives you the sense of connection that is missing. I am only hoping that people could feel it using my story as a platform because connection does matter. And yet, still people over there are suffering.

I started feeling the want to share this personal account with people around me because I don’t want to let this event in Japan be just one of those things in the news. I want to bring awareness among people that the event and people on the other side of the globe are intricately connected with people on this side of the globe.

Then, the idea of a vigil came up where people can share their personal accounts with others and pray for the victims of this event. With the help of others, a campus vigil ill be held at Gold Circle Lake on March 31. It is a part of our effort to bring awareness of the event to the NSU community and to contribute to the relief in Japan.

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