A new “Brand” shakes up “Arthur” but can’t overcome a shoddy script

Remaking a classic like “Arthur” that starred the ever extraordinary Dudley Moore is a dangerous undertaking. The original was brilliantly cast with Moore as an immature millionaire playboy and John Guilgud as his acerbic, quick-witted caretaker, Hobson.

It seems the surest way to pull off the remake is to cast Russell Brand in the lead. What makes you laugh in the original movie is not as much the lines as the delivery. Brand makes me laugh when he says “Hello” with that distinctively hilarious British accent. This was a brilliant casting idea not only because Brand is a gifted comedic actor, but also because he can make an ordinary line amusing just like Moore.

The original wasn’t always perfectly written. Some lines were dull (“Sometimes I just think funny things.”) but Moore’s delivery made them funny. The problem is that Moore was short and childlike with an infectious laugh. It was easy to see him as an innocent idealist who chose love over money. Brand is tall and beautiful and larger than life. It’s easier to see him as the type who would choose to marry for money and cheat with the nobody from Queens. No offense, Russell.

The surest way to screw up the remake is to cast Greta Gerwig as his love interest. She is awkward and unbelievable as an actress. Her character has no character and no chemistry with Brand. Liza Minnelli’s Linda was quirky and witty. Helen Mirren as Hobson was another failure. She may be the “Queen” but she could never deadpan the one-liners like Guilgud. He could insult people and make them feel good about it. Or Luis Guzman as Bitterman, Arthur’s chauffer. Really? Who would hire him to drive a car?

Ted Ross’s Bitterman had class. He belonged behind the wheel of a limo. How about Nick Nolte as Arthur’s almost father-in-law? I haven’t seen him looking so good since long before that terrifying 2002 mug shot showed us that maybe his creativity was more about the alcohol and/or other substances than real talent. He may have cleaned up his act, but he has forgotten how to act.

Another sure way to screw it up is to hire Peter Baynham to write the screenplay. It was lazy and forgettable and actually managed to tame Brand, which cannot be an easy feat. Arthur came off as stupid instead of cute and misunderstood.

Sure, humor has changed a lot since the original’s release in 1981. Picking up hookers and falling down drunk are not as funny anymore, but that doesn’t mean Arthur needs to dress up like Batman and talk about the testicles on the Wallstreet Bull.

And speaking of stupid, Baynham obviously thinks audiences have gotten much dumber as he feels the need to spoon-feed us every detail with a few of the original lines thrown in at random, instead of trusting we can figure some things out. Then again, what can you expect from the writer of “Borat” and the creator of the story behind “Bruno?” I guess bull balls shouldn’t be such a big surprise.

On a more somber note, very few of the key characters from the original are still around. Writer/Director Steve Gordon passed away a year after the release, Moore in 2000, Gielgud in 2002, Ted Ross (Bitterman) in 2002, Geraldine Fitzgerald (Arthur’s grandmother) in 2005, and Stephen Elliott (Burt Johnson) in 2005. At least they didn’t have to see their masterpiece massacred.

If you want to laugh, save the $10.50 and rent the original, the only movie that really shows you what it’s like when you get caught between the moon and New York City.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Reply