By: Michael Brochu
Michael Brochu is the graduate assistant for mediation services in the Office of the Dean of Students.
The day that you have been eagerly awaiting for has finally arrived. You have checked into your new residence hall, met your resident adviser, and discovered that you have used muscles you didn’t know you had while bringing your most important belongings to your new room. Now all you need to do is meet your new roommate. The on-campus living experience can be positive and rewarding and result in life-long friendships.
While you may think your roommate is incredible, awesome and amazing during the first few moments of meeting them, it is important to keep in mind that everybody has their own positive and negative characteristics.
Shortly after moving into your new “home away from home,” your resident advisor, also known as an RA, will provide you and your roommate with a roommate contract. In a perfect world, all roommates would get along and never experience conflict.
However, in reality, conflict is a natural component of any relationship. It is important to communicate with each other to help create a smooth transition and create a comfortable living environment for both of you.
When creating the roommate agreement, you may want to talk about what each of your study habits are. Do you study late at night or early in the morning? Do you need complete silence while doing homework, or do you prefer to listen to death metal while writing your term papers? It is important to discuss your study habits with each other soon after you move in, in order to establish a living environment that will enable both of you to be academically successful.
Additional topics you will want to discuss and include in your roommate agreement are potential communal living issues. Talk about whether you wake up early or stay up late. What do you consider a “mess”? What do you consider “clean”? Is it OK to have a friend visit for the weekend? Do you not want your roommate to include information about you on his/her Twitter or Facebook page? Will you take turns buying toilet paper for the bathroom? You will want to discuss many different subtopics related to living together, such as finances and personal values to establish clear communication with each other that enables both roommates to live in a comfortable atmosphere.
Many roommate experiences are positive. However, it is possible that miscommunication and individual differences may result in conflicts. Remember that a multitude of resources are available to you if issues arise between you and a roommate. Make sure to communicate with your RA if a conflict seems to need intervention. Another resource is Student Mediation Services (SMS) in the Office of the Dean of Student Affairs.
NSU Student Mediation Services is a campus resource administered by the Division of Student Affairs and staffed by trained graduate students from the School of Humanities and Social Sciences. The office offers resources for students to learn about interpersonal conflict and its management as well as resolution processes for helping students actively resolve conflicts. Whether it’s a roommate disagreement, argument with a fellow student or student club/organization dispute, SMS offers a variety of free services including one-on-one conflict coaching, mediation and educational workshops.
SMS provides students with a safe and confidential environment to learn about and actively manage and resolve conflict in their lives. A primary purpose of the service is the support of students’ independence as adults and the development of individual accountability and responsibility as active members of the campus community in preparation for students’ future beyond the university setting. Support and enhance your NSU experience and personal development by seeking constructive and positive avenues for the management and resolution of your interpersonal conflicts. Allow us to help you achieve these goals through the use of the services we offer. SMS provides information, brochures, tip sheets and contact information at www.nova.edu/studentmediation. You can also contact SMS at studentmediation@nova.edu or (954) 262-7196.
