Dr. Aimee Zadak dedicates her life to educating and caring for other people. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she learned of the ways people could give back to help her through her own time of need.
Aimee Zadak, Ed.D., has been an associate lecturer at NSU since 1998. She earned her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling and her Doctorate in Leadership and Human Services at NSU. She loves educating people and working with different groups in therapy, corporate settings, and the classroom. She said that counseling clients doesn’t differ greatly from working with students.
“With clients, you are teaching them how to learn about themselves. In class, I try to do the same, to help students get to know themselves,” she said.
She thinks that it is important for students to be able to understand who they are, and to be able to apply that knowledge to what they learn in textbooks.
When Zadak was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2009, her years of education on the human experience were put to the test. She was diagnosed after her annual mammogram with DCIS, or ductal carcinoma in situ, referred to as “stage zero” breast cancer. It was caught early, but the cancerous cells were at risk of growing and spreading rapidly.
“My mind became foggy,” she said of the day her doctor delivered the news, “It feels like you’re half awake and half asleep. I think that’s the way the mind copes.”
Surgery was scheduled for January, three months away. She said that waiting was the worst part.
“It got a little crazy…I had many sleepless nights and I would wake up in a panic because I was so scared,” she said.
The mother of two, whose own mother had battled breast cancer, decided to focus on her mental and physical health until her day of surgery arrived. She changed her diet, eating only raw and organic foods, which she viewed as a means for survival.
She believes this helped her avoid having to undergo chemo therapy.
She also did daily meditation and visualization exercises, where she would sketch her experience with cancer and imagine it leaving her body.
“I liked to imagine butterflies healing my body and drawing the cancer out of me,” she said.
A team of friends, family and doctors formed a strong support system, which helped her recuperate during the eight weeks following her nine-hour surgery — a double mastectomy that included a breast reconstruction using tissue from her own stomach muscles.
“It was tough,” she said. But before and after the surgery, her husband and two daughters encouraged her to remain positive.
“My daughters were the most upfront about it; while everyone was walking on eggshells, they were telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself,” she said. Zadak’s father and two sisters were also supportive, but she said that the most unexpected part of having cancer was seeing how it hurt the people close to her.
“Cancer isn’t about me; it’s about everyone around me. They felt sorry for me, sad for me, afraid … My dad was hurting more than I was. The worst part was seeing the pain in their faces,” she said.
Even with all the support, Zadak still had to learn how to process her own pain.
“I was grieving while I had cancer,” she said.
She wrote her doctoral dissertation on grief and bereavement in the workplace, so the familiar concept had to be applied to her life. She read her old textbooks to figure out who she was and to learn ways to express herself.
“I thought, ‘I can’t cry in front of my husband because it will tear him apart,’ so I would listen to country music by myself and cry,” she said.
Zadak decided not to tell her students about her ordeal, but instead found a creative way to insert her experience with cancer into a class exercise.
“I gave them a case study about myself, and all the different perspectives from the students enlightened me,” she said.
Her students thought of good strategies for the mystery woman in the case study who was battling cancer.
“They had all these ideas, and so did the doctors, so it gave me the realization that at the end of the day it was my choice. They taught me how to understand my choices,” she said.
Now that her cancer has been in remission since 2010, Zadak said she doesn’t think about it too much anymore, except when she shares her story to help other people through their struggles. She volunteers at Memorial Regional Hospital and runs a blog to provide information and resources for women with breast cancer. While Zadak’s ordeal hasn’t changed her approach to teaching or counseling, it did change her.
“I always talked a certain way, and now I had to walk the same way,” she said.
She is more confident and appreciative of her work, and she enjoys teaching even more and seeing her students in class.
“I love it so much.” she said.
For those dealing with friends or family diagnosed with cancer, Zadak offers up her words of advice.
“Listen, just don’t say anything. Sometimes it’s just about being there, instead of telling people not to worry.” she said. She also shares with her students what she has gained from surviving breast cancer, and reminds them how important it is to know who they are, to be aware of their fears and their goals.
“A lot of what we do, or don’t do, is fear based. And what I’ve learned is that when you’re afraid, just close your eyes and move forward. Walk through the storm, walk through that darkness, keep on going, and don’t stop,” she said. “It’s going to be dark and it’s going to be scary, but just don’t stop. Keep walking.”
