Malischa Oge is a senior communication studies major and dance minor. In addition to her studies, she is a member of NSU’s dance team, the Sharkettes, and is a contributing writer for The Current. She hopes her story demonstrates the importance of appreciating one’s own culture and traditions.
I am a first generation Haitian-American. Both my parents were born in Haiti and came to the U.S. for their education. My mom immigrated with her younger sister and my dad did so alone. They got married here and built a beautiful life and family.
Both immigrated with no knowledge of America, not knowing any English and not having anyone to rely on. They simply had faith in God that moving to the U.S., the country of opportunity, was the right path for them. I really look up to and admire them for being so courageous. I think about how scary and difficult it must have been to start their lives in a new country, let alone learn a new language.
I am the first of three children, and being the first child of Haitian parents wasn’t always easy. It’s still not easy. I am a South Florida girl through and through, but my parents made sure that the Haitian culture was instilled in me as soon as I was old enough to understand. They taught me that being Haitian means being strong in faith, knowing their hardships and how strong and resilient Haitians are as a people.
They helped me to understand that Haitians are certainly not perfect but that it’s not all bad, despite the fighting, the stealing and the killing that the media constantly focuses on. There are some Haitians who represent their country and people poorly, just as in all other cultures, but that does not mean we give up on shedding some light on the many positive aspects. What the media should focus on are the Haitians who lend a helping hand, who pray for each other and who are always looking out for each other.
I remember the times I would go up to my dad and ask him something ordinary like, “Can I go play outside?” in English and he would give me a blank stare and say in Creole, “I can’t understand what you’re saying” and then smile. I knew full well that he knew exactly what I said because he learned English before I was born. But he made a deal with me when I was about 5 years old that the way he would teach me Creole was to speak it with me daily. So anytime I would slip up and say something in English, he would act as if he had no clue what I was saying. At the time, I was completely annoyed, but now I am forever grateful that he was consistent, persistent and annoying. I now speak fluent Creole. I can read and write in French, and I have a love for Haiti and my people that can’t be explained. I was also raised on faith and Christianity and that’s the essence of who I am. I owe it all to my parents.
Of course, there are certain expectations, just like in other families, so being intelligent and succeeding in academics was an absolute must in my family. Most of the time, Bs were not acceptable, and I don’t even want to know what would have happened if I walked into my house with a C. There were times when I felt a lot of pressure but, eventually, I understood that my parents just wanted the best for me.
My parents taught me to always show respect to those who were older than me. Even though I may not have agreed with their actions or words, I always had to listen and give them a chance. Not arguing has always been a challenge but it’s taught me to be respectful of authority, an attribute that has taken me far in life.
Setting an example for my younger brothers was also a major part of my childhood. If my parents were at work, it was always up to me to take care of them, and as the only daughter, that made my responsibilities twice as intense. Being a young girl in a Haitian family adds a lot of pressure because, in my culture, women are the ultimate caregivers. It is considered rude if we are not always attentive to the men. I don’t always agree with this but I respect it because it is a deeply engrained part of a culture that I call my own. And because of this aspect of my culture, my brothers and I are inseparable. They appreciate everything that I do for them and they always return the favor. I know what true family is, and I know how to take care of myself and of others.
There are pros and cons to growing up in any culture, but I will always be grateful and happy that I was raised this way. I often wonder what would have happened if things were different — if my parents decided not to carry on their culture in us, if I had never learned Creole, if I had never seen the beauty that is Haiti. While my life may have turned out OK, I would not have been the best version of me that I am now.
I am American. I am Haitian. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
