In the aftermath of Robin Williams’ death, people are becoming more aware of suicide and how to help others who are contemplating taking their own lives.
Douglas Flemons, co-director of NSU’s Office of Suicide and Violence Prevention, said people take their own lives at least twice as often as people are killed by others. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college-age people, and about one in every 10,000 college students take their lives every year.
“We hear about the homicides because the news coverage is there, but unless someone like Robin Williams takes his own life, we generally don’t hear about it, mostly because people are afraid to talk about it,” Flemons said.
However, despite the press coverage of William’s suicide, some people are still afraid to talk about suicide.
“When people don’t know about it and they’re ignorant of what’s actually going on, that obviously creates more risk because then you can’t be prepared if you don’t know what to look for or you don’t know what to do to prevent it,” Flemons said.
Debra Goldman, director of the Henderson Student Counseling Services, said one of the myths about suicide is that if people talk about it, people will think about it. However, talking about it actually allows people to recognize its importance.
“People who might be considering it might be more willing to come and talk to someone about it because it is out in the open,” Goldman said.
People should also understand that suicide is not inevitable and that the vast majority of people who contemplate suicide do not attempt suicide.
“There’s a wrong idea that if somebody wants to take their life, they’re going to manage to do it and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it,” Flemons said. “If we can prevent them from having access to some means of taking their life, then that can protect them for months, years, decades into the future. We don’t want to have a sense of futility and think that there’s nothing that we can do.”
Though some choose to take their lives because they are going through depression, every person’s case is different and depression is not always the cause of suicide.
“College students who might be feeling depressed might feel overwhelmed with school or life that they aren’t able to cope well,” Goldman said. “Sometimes people don’t recognize that there are other options. They might be embarrassed to tell someone. They might be afraid that there will be negative consequences if they tell someone how they’re feeling. Someone might be going through something traumatic in their life and they don’t know how to handle it. Every single person is different.”
Flemons said that looking for signs of change in others is an excellent way to help prevent suicide.
“One of the most pernicious aspects of depression that leads to someone making the choice to take their life is a very profound sense of alienation,” Flemons said. “They feel they can’t fit in, don’t belong or are somehow kept out of human contact. That leads to a sense of ‘People that I know will be freed up by my death. I’m a burden. I will relieve other people by taking my life.’”
Goldman said a change in behavior is usually indicative that something is going on whether the change is good, bad or different. Other signs that someone is going through a hard time include isolation, inability to cope with every day stressors, expressing strong feelings such as anger, and not getting enough sleep or going through a change in sleeping patterns. However, these signs are different for each person.
Reaching out is the first step when people see these behaviors in others. Though the natural response is to encourage the person and tell them things are going to get better, Goldman said the best thing to do is validate someone’s feelings.
“Sometimes it takes just one person to ask if everything is OK for the other to feel that they are not alone and maybe there is someone out there to listen,” Goldman said. “Someone’s feelings are different from your own. What they experience is different from your experience regardless if you think it’s a problem or not.”
Flemons agreed.
“Any contact is better than nothing but to the degree that you can make the contact and listen rather than try to force feed hope that can allow the person to feel heard,” Flemons said.
Flemons said the next step is to take action and get them connected with somebody whose expertise is in being able to connect with someone who doesn’t feel they can connect with anybody. At NSU, that means talking to a professor, resident assistant or administrator or going to the Henderson Student Counseling Center in the University Park Plaza.
“It can be amazingly helpful to get somebody to go see a counselor by saying ‘I’ll go with you and I’ll sit in the waiting room while you’re there’ because it makes it possible for them to make the human connection that’s the first step to making things turn around,” Flemons said.
Whatever the signs, it’s important to remember that no one is alone.
“There is always someone to talk to,” Goldman said. “There’s always a solution. Whether it is a counselor, a trusted professor, a friend, there is always someone to talk to.”
Suicide and violence prevention resources
Office of Suicide and Violence Prevention: 954-262-5852
Henderson Student Counseling for student: 954-424-6911
Henderson Student Counseling 24/7 hotline: 954-424-6911
National Suicide Prevention hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) and 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Broward First Call for Help: 211 or 954-537-0211
Office of Public Safety: 954-262-8999
MHNet hotline for concerns about NSU employees: 1-877-398-5816
