Imagine that every time a victim reported a stolen credit card to the police, they were questioned by officers and, in most cases, even the public, like they perpetrated the crime. Was the victim dressed in flashy, designer clothes? Were the victim’s pockets too easily accessible? Was the credit card visible and tempting, pressuring the thief to commit a crime he couldn’t resist? Was the victim drinking? Was the victim sleeping or unconscious? Was the victim in an area notoriously known for crime or was the victim surrounded by impoverished people who desperately needed the money? Is this the first time the victim has misplaced his credit card? Did the victim give the accused “thief” the credit card, but report the theft because he regretted his decision?
Imagine if the victim answered “yes” to any of these questions and, suddenly, his case was no longer taken seriously because, by default, the crime was his fault. While this scenario seems a little ridiculous and exaggerated, this is exactly what happens to victims of sexual assault when they bravely come forward. The only difference is that a credit card can always be cancelled and replaced, while the effects of sexual assault are life-changing and severe.
For some weird reason that I will never understand, people love to sympathize with rapists, perverts and abusers. People refuse to recognize that anyone, even great athletes, nice neighbors and star students, is capable of being a creepy violent predator who likes taking advantage of others for his own enjoyment. Instead, we assume that the victim is lying or must have done something to provoke this surprising behavior.
But, when we gossip about sexual assault victims and imply that the allegations are either fabricated, exaggerated, or not the perpetrator’s fault, we are just as bad as the disgusting abusers. When we victim blame, we not only are bullying a person who courageously chose to report her attack; we are also trivializing, tolerating and excusing sexual assault and abuse, fostering a hostile, dangerous society for young women to live in.
To be considered a human being worthy of respect, women are forced to follow a dress code and a curfew. Women can’t drink in public, especially around men, can’t flirt, even if it’s mild, can’t be a known “slut,” a word with an arbitrary definition, and can’t walk alone, especially at night. These are just a few of the strict rules women need to follow on a daily basis for our safety. If we decide to stray from the rules for the night and actually have fun, whatever happens to us is entirely our fault.
These social pressures to keep women in line so that they don’t supposedly become “irresistible temptations to men who just can’t help themselves” are dangerous and ineffective. By questioning the validity of the report and the credibility of the victim, we make it that much easier for perpetrators to get away with crimes — and possibly commit even more crimes. By placing the blame on victims for their actions and their appearance, we teach men that sexual assault is totally OK as long as the victim looks like or acts like she is asking for it. Punishing women for their actions — actions that would have been completely socially acceptable if the victim was male — does not prevent sexual assault. It only excuses abuse.
To prevent sexual assault, the real pressure should be placed on potential perpetrators. According to a recent study published in scientific journal “Violence and Gender,” a third of male university students admit that they would rape if they could get away with it. Sexual assaults won’t stop until men are taught that sexual assault is wrong and disrespectful, regardless of the circumstances. Sexual assaults won’t stop unless men are reminded that women are human too, not sexual objects that lack autonomy. Instead, pressures to ingrain simple phrases, “yes means yes”, “no means no”, and “consent is consent” are not nearly as severe as the complicated guidelines enforced on women to protect themselves.
Instead of putting sexual assault victims on trial after they come forward with their alleged attack, we should remember that the perpetrators are the actual criminals who deserve to be interrogated and cross-examined.
