According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, in the U.S., about 3 percent of men and 16 percent of women have been the victims of attempted or completed rape; 2.78 million men are victims of sexual assault or rape, and — drum roll, please — 17.7 million women have been sexually assaulted or raped.
Society has a tendency to tell women that they have to prevent rape by not wearing provocative clothing or wearing nail polish that changes color when dipped in a drink that contains date-rape drugs. Women are told to do this and to do that to reduce their chances of being raped, when the simple solution is to stop it at its source. It should be on the part of those who rape, a majority of whom are male, to stop it from happening by — as comedian, writer, producer and actress Sarah Silverman tweeted — not raping.
Because of the male-chauvinistic idea that men can do no wrong, it was easy for some men to lash out at Silverman for her tweet of a picture of 10 rape prevention tips for men with the comment, “These are great- send to all the men in ur life.” Silverman probably shared it because individuals are more likely to be raped by someone they know than by a complete stranger, and, just because the majority of the male population aren’t rapists, it doesn’t negate that men are more often perpetrators of rape than women. A 2011 CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey conducted in the U.S. showed that an estimated 99 percent of female rape victims and an estimated 79.3 percent of male rape victims had male rapists.
According to the Women Against Violence Against Women Rape Crisis Centre, a rape culture exists when a society normalizes sexual aggression and violence, especially against women. The sexualized violence can range from threats and remarks to physical assault. All of this, in a rape culture, is accepted as inevitable and considered the norm, just like a 9-to-5 job.
Recall Eminem’s music video for “Love the Way You Lie,” which encourages dating violence. Think about what people say in games like Call of Duty — “Man, he just got raped!” or “I totally raped you.” These statements are not about sex; they’re about dominance. And, it’s easy to see the constant objectification of women in media that sends the message that women are nothing more than sexual playthings. These ubiquitous habits and ideas, along with blaming and shaming rape victims, demonstrate our acceptance of a rape culture.
Of course, men took it personally when a strong female figure opposed rape culture norms and agreed that if you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, you probably shouldn’t rape her. In response to Silverman’s tweet, one individual tweeted, “jesus christ wtf is this. not everybody out here raping b—–s wats wrong with you,” and another tweeted, “yeah it’s extremely offensive. It implies that it’s common for men to think about ways to rape girls, when that’s nonsense.”
These responses are just another aspect of the pervasiveness of rape culture. “Oh, I’m a man, and I would never rape a woman. The idea that all men rape women is horrendous!” they say — because women are the deserving victims of rape and should have nothing to say about it. Men’s outrage at Silverman’s tweet clearly demonstrates the patriarchal, misogynist, normalized propensity to blame women for allowing themselves to get raped because, clearly, it is within a woman’s control to stop a man from coming onto her.
By not putting the responsibility where it belongs with the rapist, the blame falls on the victim’s shoulders. The solution to rape isn’t to tell women “Shut up, and stop being a slut”; nipping rape in the bud should entail telling those who rape not to rape. We train our dogs to not attack people; we don’t tell people to avoid all dogs at every cost. And, when dogs do attack people, we usually put them down.
People should have the ability to exercise a moral compass and refrain from inflicting pain, especially when we’re said to have higher mental faculties than animals. Rape is a personal violation of another, and people should have moral qualms about that. People should be taught that it is not acceptable to rape, that the power they obviously crave should not be sought at the expense of others. Teaching children, especially boys, that all human beings deserve respect will counteract rape culture and, hopefully, erase it. “Boys will be boys” will never be an acceptable justification for harming women.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of twitter.com and 9gag.com
