Glasses without lenses, commonly worn by hipsters and hyper-intellectuals to make people think they’re smarter than they are, have a dangerous side effect: they are highly offensive to the visually impaired.
Mary Whittaker has been wearing glasses since the tender age of seven. Because of her nearsightedness, she is unable to read the menus at Chipotle and McDonalds without her glasses.
She said that she can’t count the number of times people have asked her how many fingers they’re holding up.
“It’s hard, you know?” Whittaker said, nearly in tears. “When I lose my glasses, I need my glasses in order to find my glasses. And to have hipsters walking around with their oversized frames, looking like Princess of Genovia Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi pre-transformation-scene on purpose? It tells you a lot about how our culture views the visually impaired.”
According to the Vision Council of America, approximately 64 percent of the U.S. population wears eyeglasses. Studies show that every individual knows someone who has been affected by a visual impairment.
Stephen Gussey, who wears glasses now, had to wear an eye patch as a child to combat lazy eye.
“These hipsters, they’ll never know what it’s like to be called a pirate on the school playground,” he said. “They’ll never be called ‘four eyes.’ Glasses aren’t a fashion statement; they’re a treatment for a disability. Imagine if someone wore a neck brace as a fashion statement? Or rode around in a wheelchair just because it looked cool?”
Star Fairchild, regular hipster glasses-wearer and ignorant muttonhead, sees no problem with wearing glasses without prescription lenses.
“I wear glasses as social commentary,” she explained obtusely. “I think it’s fascinating that we see glasses as a mark of intelligence, and my intention is to subvert that stereotype.”
But at what cost, Star? How many visually impaired tears will glasses-wearers have to shed before society wakes up and sees its error? Glasses-wearers routinely report ways in which their visual impairment interferes with their daily lives.
“When I went to see ‘Zootopia’ in 3-D, I had to wear 3-D glasses over my regular glasses,” Whittaker explained. “Whenever I step outside of my air-conditioned sedan, my glasses fog up for a good 30 seconds. 36% of the population has no idea what that’s like.”
Gussey said he finds the lack of social support for the visually impaired deeply upsetting. He said he regularly attends fundraising runs for individuals affected by cancer and autism, but that he’s never had the opportunity to run in support of his own disability.
“Even when it’s storming and raindrops are hitting my glasses, I don’t stop to clean them and I just push through,” he said bravely. “When it’s sunny and the brightness hurts my eyes because I can’t fit sunglasses over my regular glasses, I push through. I just wish that, once, someone would push through for me.”
Fairchild remarked that an issue affecting such a large portion of the population with a wide range of highly effective treatment options can hardly be called a disability. She said she sees her colorful, oversized frames as a form of expression.
Whittaker disagreed.
“The lack of cultural sensitivity is astounding, especially in hipsters, who often claim to be the most culturally sensitive,” she said. “Frankly, it’s disgusting, and I hope they all contract glaucoma. They deserve it.”
Photo Caption: Hipster glasses must be stopped.
Photo Credit: G. Ducanis
