Seriously Kidding: Why Halloween should be a federal holiday

It’s that time of year again: cotton spider webs, pumpkins and gourds, cheap decorations and enough candy to make you gain a few pounds are all back. That’s right, it’s almost Halloween. But honestly, this holiday is so much more than soliciting candy from your neighbors. It’s a deep-rooted, all-American tradition.

Halloween is in our blood. We all remember the days of dressing up and going out into the night with millions of other children. We did it, our parents did it and our grandparents did it. It is imperative that we protect this holiday for the sake of our children and grandchildren, and what better way to do that than to make Halloween a federal holiday? That’s right, we need to close public buildings, cancel school and shut down businesses early. We need to do everything we would do for equally important holidays like Columbus Day and Thanksgiving.

The choice is obviously clear. Everyone loves Halloween, especially our economy. Jackson Gutierrez, junior business major, recently studied the benefits of holidays on the economy.

“Holidays are quite literally catalysts to the economy,” Gutierrez said. “Businesses increasingly thrive around capitalist-based holidays. The period between Thanksgiving and Christmas saw the biggest boost to the economy, but Halloween followed just behind it.”

Making Halloween a federal holiday will give people the opportunity to have more time to go out and spend more money, which helps the economy. It’s a capitalist’s dream scenario. Think about it: Black Friday does so well in a business sense because many non-retail businesses give their employees a four-day weekend for Thanksgiving.

Alexandra O’Neill, owner of Spooktown, a local Halloween business, explained that her business is reliant on Halloween.

“I’m lucky enough to be able to fund my entire business and life while only being open for one and a half months out of the year,” O’Neill explained, “Unfortunately, I often struggle to get by once we get to the summer months, but I’m certain that if students and some employees had off on Halloween, I would be financially stable all year without any fear.”

On top of the fiscal importance of Halloween, the holiday observes some deep-rooted traditions. Let’s face it, on what other holiday is it socially acceptable to dress your baby and dog in a silly costume? The costumes on Halloween allow people to express themselves without fear of judgment, whether as a cat vampire, a scandalous nurse or a demon. In reality, people will get a good laugh out of your costume as long as you’re not a clown. Clowns are overrated.

The festivity of Halloween wouldn’t be complete without an out-of-the-way trip to a farm to pick out the perfect pumpkin either. What better way to bond with your family than to make a huge mess in your kitchen just to design a silly face in a brutally-slaughtered pumpkin?
Overall, Halloween is just too important of a holiday to be overlooked by our federal government. The best course of action is to recognize the huge cultural impact Halloween has so that we can better respect the holiday. Let’s make this year fantastic: make Halloween a federal holiday.

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