We’ve all been there. You’re having a good night staying in. It’s 8 p.m. on a Friday and you have your Netflix going for an evening of relaxation. The clock ticks to 11 p.m. and you check your Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook. You see a lot of your friends having the time of their lives. They’re going out and you’re watching Netflix in your pajamas with a pizza on the kitchen table. You can’t help but wonder if your decision to stay in was the best one for your social life. This anxiety that makes you feel like you’re missing out is called FOMO, quite directly translated to “fear of missing out.”
However, if you were actually invited out, you might have ended up wishing you had stayed in anyway. So, here are some ways to help you combat FOMO.
Find your individual happiness
It’s easy to get carried away with wanting things you don’t have. If you go out, you wish you had stayed in. If you stay in, you wonder if this weekend would have been more fun if you went out. It’s hard to be content with what you have. If you’re having a nice night in, learn to appreciate the comforting silence that comes with peaceful separation from the rest of the world. And if you’re out and about, don’t shy away from the extra opportunities that present themselves. Tell that stranger that his or her outfit is poppin’. Dance like no one is watching. By finding the things that make you happy, you won’t have to cower when you see other people having more “fun.” Focus on the people you’re with and the memories you’re making in that moment. And if you are alone, enjoy the comfort you find within yourself.
Get over the illusion of “fun”
“They look like they’re having soooo much fun.”
This phrase is usually accompanied by a long sigh and more pain caused by scrolling through Instagram. What if all that “fun” you’re witnessing is what Time magazine calls “The Facebook Illusion”? What if the people who post pictures and videos of a fun-filled night handpicked them so it can look like they’re living it up? It’s because they probably are.
As Swarthmore professor Barry Schwartz said, “Social comparison seems sufficiently destructive to our sense of wellbeing that it is worthwhile to remind ourselves to do it less.”
Next time you see a Snapchat update from one of your friends, imagine yourself out with them. Would you be having the same amount of fun? Would you be miserable? Are you just salty because you weren’t invited? Whatever you feel, take that and do something productive with it. If you really want to go next time, ask your friend about the next time she or he is going out. If you go and you are actually miserable, then you have your answer. Don’t be your own worst enemy when happiness is just a small action away. Those people may be having an internal struggle over their breakup and financial issues and attempt to make up for their sadness in fake posts. No judgment.
Try new things
A possible way of getting over the FOMO is to do creative things to get out and about. If you usually don’t like socializing, try leaving your comfort zone little by little. Try going to a museum. Go to an open-mic night. Or, if you feel like all the late nights on the town aren’t what they used to be anymore, stay in and catch up on your shows. Find what brings you happiness and be confident in your choices.
Finding contentment in personal happiness makes it hard to wish for something more. Try to focus on the now, the present, and all of the things that make moments unique and special. You will find there is little to no time for moping around when you’re always looking forward to whatever is coming up next in your life.
