Life is a complex, mysterious force, and its intricacies certainly enact change upon all those who experience it. However, the ways in which people change typically qualify more as development rather than transformation. Simply put, people build upon already-set qualities, refine their advantageous traits and redirect any undesirable personal aspects rather than throwing away previous dispositions in favor of new ones. So, people who fundamentally lack certain significant traits like empathy or selflessness are unlikely to want to develop those traits because that desire is by nature an expression of consideration and selflessness.
Of course, this unfortunate truth doesn’t mean change is impossible. For those who acknowledge their flaws and are willing to actively work on them, growth is entirely in reach. Still, change is a process. It’s only achievable with clearly defined goals and an everyday attention to whatever qualities are in focus. For example, if a person is working on being more selfless, they should regularly evaluate the choices they are making to discern whether those choices help or hurt others or whether they make choices solely based on what outcome is most advantageous for themselves. In another instance, a person trying to be less passive might try cognitively asserting themselves more and more frequently. Without persistence, a desire to change is simply a pipedream and does nothing to contribute towards personal growth.
Accordingly, people who tend to remain stagnant — selfish, lazy, cruel etc. — might fool themselves or others into believing they are growing without lifting a finger. Often, these people will falsely acknowledge their issues, either to soothe their own egos or to convince others they are worth keeping around, by taking partial responsibility for flaws. After this offhanded admission, they might theatrically perform an act of charity or tackle a mess of tasks to appear productive, but if they revert back to their usual selves very soon, it’s clear those actions were only an attempt to pacify criticisms. The truth of the matter is, if a person lives their entire life selfishly, lazily or any other less-than-desirable way and makes it to adulthood unchecked, they’ll continue to take the easy way out. The only hope for some people is a radical confrontation of the problem — something that screams, “You can’t live like this anymore!” Thus, as we accept or remain passive to problematic behavior, it is bound to continue.
For most of those people, nothing of consequence will stop them from living in a way that ultimately hurts themselves or other people. People who have continuously chosen to disregard others’ lives or their own well-being are unlikely to acknowledge that and never stop. Some people, despite their potential to, will never change. Unless they give us a genuine reason to believe otherwise, we should stop giving them the benefit of the doubt.
