The world of today is practically saturated with sexual imagery, discussions about the ways sex affects society and all types of things that appeal to human sexuality and attraction. Undoubtedly, it is hard for some people to believe that not everybody is interested in sex or feels a sexual attraction. Despite this common idea that sexual desire is a universal human sensation, asexuality exists.
Even though there have probably always been people who have felt little or no sexual attraction to others, the concept of asexuality as a sexual orientation is still relatively recent.
Asexuality is often confused with celibacy or general discomfort with sex, which it is not. While celibacy is probably a result of a person’s choice because of a specific life circumstance or religion, asexuality is simply a lack of sexual attraction. Even people who are uncomfortable with sex usually still feel some type of sexual attraction despite not wanting to act on that urge. With all of this being said, people that identify as asexual are not interested in sexual relations with anyone. Of course, they may still get into relationships and even marriages, but these bonds are built foundationally on affection and respect as opposed to sexual attraction.
This stigma has caused asexual people to be constantly faced with intrusive questions about their “sexual abstinence.” Some people even go as far as suggesting that asexual people are going through a “phase” and may later identify as a different orientation or that they became asexual as a result of trauma. Many asexual people don’t actually begin identifying as asexual until they’ve already partaken in sexual experiences. They often feel that they haven’t yet learned to consider their own desires because of societal norms.
However, this does not mean that asexuality isn’t a valid orientation. Oftentimes, we see that heterosexual people have had to go through their own phases and engage in occasional relationships with various genders to find their true sexual identity, possibly changing their orientation with experience.
Because of all the misconceptions surrounding the label, I want to emphasize the importance and respect of asexuality as an orientation. It is not a temporary choice, a mental disorder or a product of sexual trauma. It is a sexual orientation. Just as any person, anywhere on the gender spectrum, doesn’t represent specific “types” of people, asexuality is equal in this sense. They are regular humans with valid feelings.
