Leave it to the “Captain America” movies to encapsulate a huge government conspiracy that is so large it controls history itself. This really should have been more predictable than it was, and yet, I found myself surprised by the magnitude of the conspiracy. Not surprised enough to remain interested, but enough to get angry at how insipid this plot line was. I mean, how many conspiracies can there be about the scientist of Nazi Germany. It’s not mind-blowing. They were anti-Semitic, white supremacist bastards. There is nothing more behind that curtain except more anti-Semitism and possibly a few mad scientists.
Captain America, or Cap as his fellow soldiers call him, is played by the adorably large Chris Evans. Too bad there wasn’t one shirtless scene that would have this awful movie worth the price of admission. He does however wear the skintight Captain America body suit with obviously sewn in muscles, which seems unnecessary considering Evan is in impeccable shape. The tight body suit, although visually entertaining, is not a good enough replacement for the real thing.
The black widow, or Natasha, played by the amazingly sexy Scarlet Johansson, had a few good lines, and many awesome fight scenes. Her performance left something wanting, but at least it wasn’t indecency. She was covered for most of the film too which was a nice change. Usually, the movie exec’s like to exploit the female body, but against that this time. She was stoic with a little inclination toward humor. It wasn’t exactly spectacularly done, but I wasn’t revolted, so good job I guess.
I guess the thing to do is bring characters back to life now. The villain in this movie was killed in the first film. It’s like they couldn’t think up a really cool new villain, so they just use a retired character. Did they hope that no one would notice? Or maybe they just hoped that the audience would feel for such a character? I noticed, and I didn’t feel anything towards this character except initial confusion and, eventually, indifference. Epic fail guys. And from one writer to another, come up with different character next time. I am talking to you Stan Lee.
Worse yet, Buckey, played by Sabastian Stan, was the Caps best friend. So, they just turned him evil for entertainments sake? I can’t help but hear Stan’s voice say to the director “what’s my motivation?” Stan even said in an interview on “Chelsea Lately” that he was surprised when they asked him to return since he died in the first film. Although with the mask on, no one can see his facial expressions anyways so that point is moot. And since he probably didn’t do half his stunts you can almost say that Stan was hardly in the movie. Way to make an easy paycheck buddy.
The worst part was Peggy Carter, played by Hayley Atwell, the love interest from first movie is an old woman now, and the Cap goes to visit her. (In the first movie, these two meet in the 40s, he gets put on ice for 80 years but she doesn’t.) Talk about awkward. The Cap is still young and handsome while she is old, grey and decrepit. I hope this is not a metaphor for men and women growing old together; like the woman just gets old, while the men age gracefully. Ew! The old woman make-up was believable on Atwell until you see her perfect teeth; kind of gives away her real age. Double-check that on the next one guys.
Samuel l. Jackson who played Nick Fury the head guy of S.H.I.E.L.D, as always, carried the show. His flawless performance is almost clichéd actually. He’s always believable in his roles. He gets the tough, dry and somewhat stoic male lead who proves to have some semblance of a soul at the end. He’s sneaky, manipulative but with the best intentions. Love it!
I like seeing Robert Redford in a three piece suite. It’s his rightful costume. It reminds me of the awful 80s version of “The Great Gatsby,” which by all accounts is a negative memory, but the look works on Redford. His performance as Alexander Pierce the Secretary of State, however is another story. Let’s just say sometimes actors should quit while they are ahead. Always leave them wanting more; instead of leaving them thinking wow, he really should have stopped five years ago.
The humor seemed really out of place; almost unnecessary to the entire piece, although it brings a little color to an otherwise mindless superhero movie. It does however go along with the hyper masculine language. I don’t remember the exact examples of the humorless humor, but they were awkwardly placed before and after a fight sequence.
So, just ignore all the talking before and after fight sequences. They are annoying to say the least and cheapen what should be a great spectacle of a movie. In fact I should write a strongly worded letter to Hollywood. And it would go like this: Dear Hollywood, please stop trying to make everything funny and have a fight sequence with annoying one-liner interruptions. If I have to hear one more line like “this will hurt,” or “prepare to die” before a big fight scene, I will, well, I won’t do anything because I don’t have any power, but I will be thinking about what I would do if I did. (Oh and give Johnny Depp an Oscar.) Thanks.
(By the way, is it just me or does Natasha’s hair keeps getting shorter and a brighter shade of red with every movie.)
Over all, “Captain America Two” was somewhat entertaining, but not enough to write a more positive review. The dialogue lacked a lot of oomph. All in all, the film was much better than the first but that isn’t saying much since the first attempt at a captain America movie lacked fluidity. This is full staircase up from the lackluster first. At least the costumes are better this time around. Really the only interesting part was the overly buff Chris Evans and the bodacious Johansson.
