Friends make the good times better and the bad times bearable. So what do you do when you find yourself having to juggle the friends you just met in your residence hall and the friends you played “Duck, Duck, Goose” with in elementary school?
It might be hard to imagine moving away from the friends you grew up with, but it happens. Students graduate high school and, before they know it, are spending their last summer with their childhood friends. As they enter their new home for the next four years, they wonder how they will ever make it alone. On the first day of class, everyone sits at their desks, quietly anticipating the arrival of the professor. If you’re lucky, you might feel a tap on your shoulder. “Hey, do you have a pencil?” And just like that, your new best friend is born.
As the semester continues, you’ll find yourself making tons of new friends, and, of course, there will be one group of friends you’ll love to spend time with the most. But just because a relationship grows with one group does not mean it has to dwindle with another. Senu Chacko, freshman biology major, admitted that she sometimes worries about the distance and fears that it will make it hard for her to keep in touch with her friends back home, but she makes sure that they do.
“I don’t plan to introduce my old friends to my new ones, but instead, I’ll spend equal but separate time with both,” said Chacko.
Surprisingly, Chacko is not alone in that decision. Many students feel that the best way to balance their friendships is to keep them separate.
“On most weekends and during breaks, I will leave campus to visit my old friends, but I have learned that you do not try to mix old friends with new ones,” said Nikolas Ujueta, freshman biology major. “It doesn’t work; always keep them separate.”
According to freshman psychology major Franklin Marichal, as he enters his first year at NSU, he finds himself making many new friends. But he is also losing a lot of friends he already had because he grew and matured, while many of them did not. Instead of trying to balance what he used to think was fun with the person he is today, Marichal decided a few people had to be let go.
NSU’s campus is as diverse as a New Orleans jambalaya. You’ll encounter people who will challenge the way you think, you might even show a new level of maturity, and you might begin to question the competence of your previous friends. As people grow older, they often drift away from the people they were once closest with, and when it comes to trying to balance relationships, you have to know when to pull tighter and when to let go.
Please don’t run to your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat to break up with your best friends just because you don’t think you have time for them anymore. Instead, use social media sites to maintain communication and stay updated on your high school friends’ lives.
While many decide to either let old friends go or simply keep groups separate, others enjoy making two separate groups a whole. Jason Shaw, junior biology major, said that he stays in contact with his friends from home as much as he can, and when it comes to visiting, he likes to mix social groups by finding shared qualities that help them mingle.
Logan Schemee, sophomore biology major, agreed.
“You have to let a few go, but for the close ones, do all you can to keep in contact. We look forward to long summer breaks, and during the school year, we keep in touch on social media and make lots of group chats,” he said.
The two students even have two separate group chats to keep their friends happy, one for their new friends and one for their old group.
The thought of having to please two groups or spending more time with one group over another can seem much less stressful when both groups get along. Chantel Morgan, sophomore chemistry major, agrees. One time, one of her best guy friends came into town, and she excitedly introduced him to all of her new friends here at NSU. Just as she anticipated, they hit it off. Now they can all be a part of a group chat and friend group.
Balancing your old friends and new friends can seem lot more complicated than it should be, but ultimately, the way you choose to handle it should be the way that works best for you. Of course, we would love for all of our friends to be friends, but sometimes distance or differences in personality prevent that, and then you find yourself trying to please both parties. Scheduling different times to be with both, or even different events to attend that one might enjoy more than the other, is a great way to start. Most importantly, if you ever find yourself being friends with an old friend just because you feel obligated, do not be afraid to drop them like a bad habit. Even Beyoncé had to go solo.
