I have never considered myself weak or dependent on others. No matter what struggles I’ve had to face in the past, I always found a way to get through it by myself. After 20 years and a slap in the face from reality, I learned that independence does not mean that I’m Wonder Woman; it means that while I like to venture on my own, I am still a human who does need help sometimes.
Between adjusting to a new environment, trying to manage courses, surviving another day of work and dealing with all kinds of personal problems, college is a stressful time. There’ s so much activity happening at all hours of the day that, at times, it feels as though you truly don’t even have a few minutes to dedicate to your own well-being.
As time goes on, all of your tasks, problems and obligations feel as though they are building a large ceiling of pressure above your head. It gets to be too much, and eventually, you can’t seem to remember what it was like to feel at ease with your life. Before you know it, depression sets in, and you slip farther and farther into it. You feel as though you’re becoming weak and that you’re losing any sense of who you are. The scariest part is the feeling of being alone. After all, who else could possibly understand how you’re feeling, right?
Wrong. While many people have the preconceived notion that depression is detectable by a certain look or attitude, it most certainly is not. Depression is a feeling that doesn’t fit into a conceptualized box; it looks and feels different for every individual. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 30 percent of college students report feeling “so depressed that it was difficult to function.” Even though you can’t automatically tell when someone is in the same boat as you, it is more common of an issue than you would think.
As common as it is, those who suffer, including me, still have the wrong idea of what depression actually is, its prevalence in the community and how much help is available. When you’re going through an ordeal that has as much power as depression, help seems unattainable, and the unrealistic assumptions about depression make the process seem insufferable. Daniel Gelpi, NSU student counselor, said that individuals often go into the clinic with negative assumptions about their mental health but that they need to be aware that those thoughts are just side effects of their depression. For all of those who are now going through—or have gone through—depression, there are several things you need to remember:
- Depression is not a sign of weakness
Suffering from depression affects you mentally, physically and emotionally. It will wear you down, but it doesn’t have the power to destroy you if you don’t let it. It takes time, but when you finally overcome your depression, you are stronger than you ever were. Once you survive something so daunting, you are prepared for more than you ever thought possible. - You are not alone
College is a time in life where people come and go into our lives faster than we get through a bowl of ramen noodles. As much as it feels like people don’t understand where you’re at mentally, someone does, and they are closer than you think. It could be your best friend, your classmate, the random person who you ran into in the UC or a counselor.
“Reaching out is a sign of strength,” Gelpi said. “It doesn’t mean you’re crazy; it means you’re attending to your mental health as you would your physical health. By dealing with your depression, you’ll be a better student and, ultimately, better in anything you’re looking to do.”
The point is, this is not a taboo feeling, and it’s not something you should be ashamed of. Human beings are not equipped with the ability to be completely independent 100 percent of the time, and you do not have to go through this alone.
- There isn’t an overnight cure, but there is an everyday treatment
Once you identify that you need help, you need to realize that there is no magic button that will make the feeling go away overnight. The rise from your fall will take a while, but it will happen. Every day is a step in the right direction as long as you do the activities that truly help you raise your spirits and overcome the negative mindset. You can go to the gym, visit the beach, have lunch with a friend, see a movie or even take a walk around the library quad, as long as you’re taking time out of your day to truly focus on you and your well-being. - Your potential in life isn’t dependent on one failed aspect
College is a very stressful time. We’re forced to balance school and work, feel overwhelmed to do exceptionally well in all of our endeavors, live a life of service and leadership and dedicate four years to be the better version of ourselves. As if that isn’t hard enough, social lives have their own pressures—to drink, have sex, go out and party and refrain from being the person who works all the time. The college experience has a lot of stressful factors, but the important thing to remember is that just because you think you “fail” at one of these aspects, it doesn’t mean you have failed at being successful. Success is about adapting to change and a willingness to grow into the ideal person you want to be. As long as you learn from your mistakes and keep an open mind about the direction you are taking in life, you are set for success. - Life isn’t supposed to be easy 100 percent of the time
If life were easy, it wouldn’t be worth living. Going through depression is going through a time in your life when things are down, but they’re not broken on the floor. We go through the bad times so that we can learn to appreciate the good; we experience sadness so we can enjoy happiness. When situations seem to pull you back, life is just preparing you with the tools to propel you forward.
If you went through depression, then chances are you have come to these realizations just as I did. If you are currently in the process of overcoming depression, then just understand that each realization takes its time. There is no rush to overcome this struggle. The first, and most important, step is to reach out to your friends, loved ones or professionals for help. This is definitely the hardest part of the process, but it makes all the difference. Nobody is alone in the struggles they face, and solace can always be found.
“Don’t go it alone,” Gelpi said. “While depression is something that seeks to make students do things from a certain negative perspective, that is not the only perspective to have in life.”
Depression is able to be overcome; you don’t have to let it win. Suffering does not make you weak, but it creates a strength that you never knew was possible. Emotions are a side effect of living, and even though there are times where they can overwhelm you, they always lead to insight and wisdom that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
Even superheroes need support. You have the power to get through anything life throws at you.
If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression, do not be afraid to take that first step. Call Henderson Student Counseling at 954-424-6911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
