College presents promising opportunities to build a relationship with someone. Maybe it’s the girl that sits three people to your left, or someone you met at an NSU event. When you want to get to know that person, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook can be your best friend.
Once upon a time, the only way to meet someone was to go up to him or her and say “Hello,” but the game has changed. Most of the time, people spend their time in public looking at their phones, but if your DM (direct message) game is strong, then the odds are actually in your favor. Urban Dictionary defines sliding into the DMs as “when you send a direct message to someone on twitter, Instagram or Facebook confidently and smoothly.” This can be for any reason. Maybe you just want to be friends, or you’re trying to flirt. Regardless of your purpose, here’s how to slide into the DMs effectively.
Sliding in
The most important part of sliding into the DMs is, as the name implies, the “slide in.” There are many individuals who write a message, but for some reason never press send.
Veronica Bordes, senior biology major, said, “I never slide in first. I feel like a guy should man up and talk to the girl if he’s interested. A female shouldn’t be the first one to slide in.”
This won’t be true for all females out there.
Margarita Lovinska, sophomore mathematics major, said, “I always slide into guys DMs when I see something that I like, and I do not hesitate to approach people online.”
Initiating the slide
You can’t always wait for the other person to slide first, and it’s beneficial to know how to initiate the slide.
If you don’t know how, that’s alright. First, you must test the waters. Knowing where you stand can help you formulate your battle plan. If you are on Instagram, then like his or her pictures. If you are on Twitter, then favorite his or her tweets. If you are on Facebook, then like his or her posts. Give all his or her posts your attention, not just the “thirst traps,” or provocative pictures with muscles, cleavage or bikinis.
In fact, avoid the thirst traps. You are not thirsty. Liking thirst traps is the quickest way to get sidelined. The person will say, “Oh, you’re thirsty” and tell his or her friends that you “only want one thing.”
After giving him or her attention, pay attention to his or her response. If you get a few likes or favorites back, just ignore them. The worst mistake is to assume that you are in there or that the person has any interest in you at all. He or she may be interested, but don’t let that go to your head; that is the absolute worst thing you can do. Go into the DMs like you’re a guest; don’t go in cocky or arrogant because you can be kicked out.
Your attitude while in the DMs
Having spoken to a few guys around NSU’s campus, the consensus is that you must enter the DMs not too aggressively, but not too softly. Otherwise, you can end up in the friend zone, which is when a person keeps you as a friend and will not see you as anything more, ever.
Jason Houck, sophomore criminal justice major, said people should show slight interest right away by using emojis or being affectionate and saying “good morning.”
Stephanie de la Guarda, sophomore biology major, agreed and said, “They should show romantic interest in a respectful way if they know you’re single”
Send a message that’s short and simple. Just say hello or send a “How are you?” or even a “Hi, where are you from?” The conversation should be like a beautiful, classical song. It should start soft, build and become more complex. The pacing should be smooth, expressive and develop a cadence. Any sign of “thirst” early on, and most people will shut you down.
Divya James, freshman biology major, said, “Keep it short. Don’t be too personal, at first. Be a gentleman or be funny. Don’t be a creep.”
With that being said, sometimes you will not get a response. Half of the time, it’s not your fault. Sometimes it’s because the person doesn’t use Twitter or Instagram anymore. Or maybe he or she just forgot to respond. Sometimes, people get so many DMs that you’ll get overlooked. If this happens, stay strong.
There is a percentage of the population who just won’t respond. They may think they are perfect and won’t respond unless they know you get straight A’s, drive a BMW or have a six pack/pretty face. It’s probably for the best that they didn’t respond anyway.
Once you’re in, you have to get out
After you have successfully entered the DMs, there is only one thing left to do: get out. Your endgame is never to stay in the DMs. You must get a phone number because it is more personal. Texts or calls are usually prioritized over Facebook or Twitter messages. A phone number means the person trusts you with his or her contact information and wants to talk to you. If you stay in the DMs, the person will think you are not interested, and he or she will slowly lose interest in you. So, get the number.
Congratulations, once you receive the number, you have successfully slid into and out of the DMs. What do you do next? Continue to talk to him or her. Ask to hang out. You can even put in some work and ask to go on a date.
With the ratio of women to men on NSUs main campus, the odds are in guys’ favor. The DMs are a magical wonderland with infinite possibilities for everyone, so slide in with confidence.
