The first listed definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary says that feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. I’m sure there are many who believe that, but they certainly aren’t feminists. The second definition that Merriam-Webster lists is far more accurate: organized activity in support of women’s rights and interests. Feminism isn’t a movement concerned with men’s issues at all. American feminism, as its name rightly suggests, is only concerned with women’s issues.
Feminism stems from a basic premise: women aren’t privileged, and men are, and it needs to be fixed. In order to be a feminist, you must believe that we live in a patriarchy, which is a society where men are in charge, and women don’t have power. If you don’t believe in the patriarchy, it’s because you’ve bought into the system. So, when feminism tries to tell me that it’s concerned about men, too, I simply don’t believe it.
The bias against men in the legal system is well-documented. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, in 92 percent of custody cases, women receive custody of children in divorce and illegitimacy, and men in only 4 percent of cases. A study from the University of Michigan shows that in federal cases, men are given sentences that are 63 percent higher than women’s sentencing for the same crimes. For burglary, the arrest ration of men to women is 9 to 1, but the imprisonment ration is 30 to 1. For aggravated assault, the arrest ratio of men to women is 10 to 1, but the imprisonment ration is 79 to 1. Men who kill their spouses are given a sentence 11 years longer than that of women who kill their spouses. The argument could be made that women aren’t as prone to criminal activity, but that, in itself, is sexist. It also doesn’t explain why men receive severer sentences than women for the same crimes. Gender bias is the only explanation.
Feminists have earmarked domestic abuse as a women’s issue, but, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 40 percent of individuals who report domestic abuse are men. Yet, in a survey of 300 men who called domestic violence hotlines, 64 percent were told that the hotline only served women. Thirty-two percent of the men were referred to an abuser’s program. If that’s not victim blaming, I don’t know what is.
The list of issues goes on, and no one’s talking about them or doing anything to remedy them. The list of government programs specifically for women who have been victims of violent crime, need educational assistance, or need health assistance seems to grow every day, despite the fact that men aren’t as physically or mentally healthy as women, aren’t doing as well in schools as women, and are far more likely to be victims of violent crime than women. We’ve decided as a society that men are always in control and that women are always the victims. This leads us to some quite blatant stereotyping, stereotyping that even I’m guilty of. I’ll admit it — I care more about a woman’s suffering than a man’s suffering, and it’s absolutely sexist.
We say that society puts too much unhealthy pressure on women to look a certain way, but we ignore the fact that 78 percent of suicide victims are men. We live in a society in which, for whatever reason, men are driven to end their own lives at more than four times the rate that women are. If that statistic doesn’t convince feminists that society disadvantages men, nothing will.
No, the answer to men’s issues isn’t feminism. Feminism isn’t about men, and it will never be, no matter what the dictionary definition is. Women started it for women, and it doesn’t address men’s issues. The movement is insanely critical of any men’s advocacy, as my extensive time on the Internet has demonstrated to me. Jokes about killing all men, how all men are the problem, and drinking male tears simply aren’t funny, nor do they in any way make feminism about equality for both sexes.
I don’t have a problem with the idea of fixing issues that women are facing, but I’m not about to call myself a feminist because I believe that society equally disadvantages men, and not simply in the sense that they’re not “allowed” to cry. It’s perfectly fine to advocate for one sex or the other, but feminists need to realize that women aren’t always victims and that men aren’t always perpetrators. Men face real problems.
So, feminists, advocate for women if that’s what you’re passionate about. But please, recognize that men have issues, too. And, if you don’t care enough to advocate for their issues, at least give up the pretense that you advocate for equal rights and opportunities for both sexes.
