When it comes to long distance relationships, there is a common misconception that it doesn’t work. Yes, long-distance relationships or LDRs are hard to maintain and can require effort than other romantic relationships, but the amount of effort put into LDRs to make it work and keep it alive is worthwhile in the long run.
Today, we are surrounded with peers in long-distance relationships. According to campusexplorer.com, about 32.5 percent of college students are in a long-distance relationship. So, if you hear your roommate complaining about how difficult it is to maintain a long-distance relationship, you’re not alone. It is easy to judge others, but if you put yourselves in their shoes for once, you understand that the “distance” part of the relationship will eventually come to an end one day and the people move on to the next stage in life. To make it through the busy schedule of classes, work, or social life, LDRs require earning and giving trust, lots of patience, quality communication, and a few basic guidelines between you and your significant other; but this no different from other relationships. LDRs just need an extra touch to keep it going. Some LDRs may not work in the end, but it doesn’t mean that every long-distance relationship is ill-fated.
In LDRs, technology is our best friend. We can see our partner every day with FaceTime or video-chatting, or we can get instant replies to our texts instead of having to wait for the letter in the mail. However, technology doesn’t make up for everything. The lack of physical proximity still makes it notoriously tough. You get to see your significant other every day, but seeing their face on a screen is hardly the same as seeing someone face to face. Missing out on activities and various couple-things is heartbreaking, but here are a few tips to ensure that your relationship is in sync with your college experience:
Setting rules/guidelines
According to a 2013 article in Online Dating Magazine, setting rules and parameters to guide your relationship is very crucial. This is not something that you have to write down as a list of what to do and what not to do. These rules help you fight against the odds, to stay together undeterred by the distance. Rules like communicating daily, meeting up every few months in person, understanding each other’s needs, etc. will help you know what you expect from the relationship.
Prioritize your schedule
School is important, the long-distance relationship is also important and so are the other aspects of life. You need to create a schedule where everything fits in and you have time for your relationship as well as your college life.
Quality communication
Communicating daily is one of the key points in a long-distance relationship. This is the only way the relationship is going to work. Focusing on quality communication helps you understand your partner better. Knowing little details like their everyday routine, or anything related to their college life, or work helps you feel closer to each other despite the miles. You need to communicate with your partner about your needs and schedules, and what expectations you can get from them and vice versa. Being on the same page on what stage a relationship is at is also very important.
Create a visiting schedule
You cannot rely entirely on technology. To maintain and grow your relationship you need to visit each other every few months. If you live a couple hundred miles apart, you can plan ahead to book your ticket and surprise your S.O. If you live in two different countries, it is a little difficult to meet up every few months, but try to see each other at least three times a year.
Spend time together while apart
This is a productive way to share your college experience with your partner. You can spend some time together and do couple-activities even if you’re apart. Like, plan a date where you can cook together and video-chat simultaneously. You can add an extra touch to this date setting up a nice ambience.
Online Dating Magazine wrote, “this way you can pretend as if you’re actually having a date together.”
You can also send gifts or packages to surprise your partner. It helps keep your relationship lively, on the right track and it is a great way to strengthen your bond.
Trust one another
Trust is one of the most important factors in making any relationship last: be it a friendship, a business partnership, or a romantic relationship. Trust goes both ways, so earning it and having it in your partner is equally important. One way to build trust is to be honest with each other.
Patience
Even in long distance relationships you can expect disagreements, arguments, or fights where you don’t talk to each other for a couple days, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up. You chose an LDR to make it work for the long run and that requires a lot of patience. It also requires sacrifice, but you need to be careful to not sacrifice more than its necessary.
There is a saying, “Distance means so little when someone means so much”. So, distance gives us a reason to love harder and if you are willing to put the time and make the effort, that long-distance relationship will last.
