We have all probably averted eye contact with a person who was sobbing in a public place, like a coffee shop or restaurant. We’ve also probably all been that person and honestly there’s no shame in that. Crying is a cathartic experience, and when there’s a lot going on in your life, it can feel like a form of self-care.
More than that, crying happens as a result of a variety of emotions, meaning it isn’t always some melancholy, overdramatic experience. It’s just the point when all those feelings you haven’t had time to feel bubble up and toil out, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling your feelings. In fact, I would argue that is exactly what you are supposed to do with feelings.
So why do we place an unspoken universal taboo on crying? I believe we are afraid of vulnerability; our own and other peoples. When we are confronted with vulnerability in a setting we do not expect it, we are caught off guard. Because we don’t trust other people with our vulnerability, we hide it; therefore, we feel a little weird when we end up crying in public, to say the least. Meanwhile, when we see other people crying in public, our instinct is to avoid that fearful manifestation of vulnerability because we project our own sense of shame and insecurity about that state of being onto the person, we see in it.
It doesn’t have to be that way. If we approached human emotion with a bit more bravery, we could make serious strides in increasing society’s sense of empathy in general. That women crying at Starbucks wouldn’t be nutty or a relatable meme. Instead, she would be a person who perhaps just got fired and lost a loved one who you could maybe even look in the eyes and give a sympathetic nod to. Similarly, the next time you let a few tears slip at a gas station, don’t think, “Wow, what a pathetic baby I’m being.” Instead, think, “Hey, I’m human and this is reasonable. Maybe I should reach out to a friend or give myself a night of self-care.”
Creating a culture of understanding is crucial to removing the taboo of expressing emotions. Sure, there’s a time and place for everything, but when everything boils over, the time is now and the place is here. Since we’ve all experienced that, there’s really no reason to act like an incomprehensible alien abduction is taking place right before our eyes.
Sourced: G. Joralemon
