Pets are companions we cherish. Some people cherish them more than their own lives and others cherish them more than others’ lives. With this great love comes interesting urges to cover them with stylish — or unstylish — fabric, assign them personas and completely butcher and mistranslate their language. Why do we do all of this? It’s mostly to make ourselves happy and not our pets. The only problem I have with clothing your pets is irresponsibly clothing them in warm climates.
The only reason we should be clothing our pets is to protect their paws from hot floors or protect their bodies from the cold. However, this is Florida! Therefore, I should only be seeing protective paw wear. I don’t want to see a husky walking down Las Olas Boulevard in a bedazzled faux fur hoodie with a saddlebag containing its children. Well, maybe I want to see the saddlebag, but definitely not the hoodie. Florida is already hot, why would you put your pet through that? Fluffy pets already have a tough time existing in the warm cesspool of mosquitoes we call Florida, why would you add more layers to that?
I can understand if you want to dress your hairless chihuahuas, but even that is pushing it. Now you might say, “Mario, no one is going to be on Las Olas during the day. Nighttime is when all the magic happens, when it’s cooler.” Yes, nighttime is where all the action usually happens but again, this is Florida. All the humidity makes even the night warm. If you truly care about your pet as much as they care about you, do not submit them to this torture.
It’s mostly fluffy pets that I have this problem with. If you have an indoor cat that is usually in the air conditioning and will allow you to clothe them without them repeatedly stabbing you with the rage of a thousand suns, then be my guest. The main thing to be aware of when dressing your pet is to know if they are comfortable. According to The People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals, these situations increase your pet’s stress levels and cause depressive and anxious symptoms. So, please be aware of your pet’s temperament when you attempt to cover them.
If your pet doesn’t want to be covered, it will be very apparent by their struggles. I think it’s ok to put little hats on them or even sunglasses — as long as they’re comfortable with it. I also think it’s fine to dress up your reptilian pets. If you want to put a hoodie on your little bearded dragon, go for it. All indoor pets not directly affected by the heat are safe to accessorize, but if you want to take your pet outside and flaunt their brand-new Gucci jacket and belt or their new Pikachu onesie, then move somewhere cooler or make sure the gathering takes place indoors. Always remember that if you’re feeling warm, your pet is probably warmer. Clothe them responsibly!
Photo: M. Anderson
