I grew up watching movies about the perfect fairytale and how relationships should be, but, let’s be honest: we all know the real happy ending in those movies actually happened inside the castle walls. If we think about how relationships work these days, I am sure Cinderella wouldn’t be sending just shoe photos to Prince Charming. Presently, sending intimate photos to your partner is really common, and when the relationship, or the “fairytale,” is over, no matter the reason, both partners should take into consideration what the right thing to do with those images is. In case you are wondering, making them public isn’t the right choice.
We all have had the experience of meeting someone who gives us that “I can’t wait to see you again” feeling. Sometimes, that person becomes something more than just “someone we just met,” and a relationship is built. A romantic relationship is composed of different factors, but most importantly, trust and sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is a natural attraction between two people, and it is a major factor for a great relationship. Trust is another key factor in a successful relationship. When it comes to deciding who we want to be with, we need to take into consideration how much we trust that person because we are about to share new experiences with him or her, like going to a new restaurant or having a first kiss — and hopefully many more kisses after that one.
Relationships today have something in their favor, and that is technology. If it is used right, a couple can use technology to make their bond stronger, even though some people believe technology can break that bond apart. When we are consumed by love or attraction, we wake up thinking about that special person we have in our life, and now, letting that person know how we feel is just a “send” away. Another way technology helps to keep the relationship alive, or “spicy,” is the option a couple has to be sexual through technology. You can communicate your feelings by sharing a sexy message or a sexy photo with that person you have built trust with. You decide to press “send” and give those personal images to your partner because both of you have reached that amazing moment as a couple when there is open sexual communication between both of you.
I often hear people’s thoughts about sexting, and how it is related to young and irresponsible people, but age doesn’t limit a couple’s thirst to keep their sexual chemistry alive. When two people who are together decide to use all available tools to maintain that chemistry, they are showing how much they want to be with each other. They are adding creativity to their very important sex life.
I mentioned how relationships can end, and yes, once that happens we fear being exposed to others in ways we don’t want to be shown. Maybe our “Prince Charming” decided that it’s time to play the bad guy and publish those photos; the victim can’t do anything about it. This is called revenge porn, and it’s a big issue today because it is used to damage someone else’s reputation and, unfortunately, in certain states you can get away with it. There are 13 states that have passed a law to protect victims from it, but it is such a common problem that I ask myself, why are the other remaining 37 states, including Florida, waiting to take action?
It’s true, you should be thinking twice, or maybe more than twice, about whom you are sending a photo to because once you press “send,” you are no longer the owner of that image. But, when it comes to sending a photo to someone you are in a relationship with, you are supposed to be able to trust that person. Even when that relationship ends, you deserve the same amount of respect and consideration from that person, no matter the situation.
Victim blaming is a common scenario in revenge porn. “She deserves it,” or, “That’s what she gets for being a slut,” are what people say when describing a revenge porn victim. But what about the long-distance relationships? Or the girl or guy who just wanted to add more fun to the relationship? Sometimes, we get caught up in the moment with our emotions, and we should be able to know that we are protected from other’s actions. We know that after a breakup, someone always ends up hurt and that often leads to regrettable decisions. So, if there were a law against revenge porn, people wouldn’t use it as an easy option to express anger because they would know that there are consequences.
Sexting is something you should only do if you are mature enough to understand the consequences. Always make sure you know whom that photo is going to and what the receiver is going to do with it. I mentioned the importance of trust and sexual chemistry because those are also the main points that lead to this issue: the main reason someone will send a compromising photo to their significant other is to improve their sexual chemistry, but that person should think about how much he or she trusts her significant other. If you are in a healthy relationship, you should be allowed to express all your feelings to that special person, and because we never know how things will end, having a law to protect us would be more than welcome. So if you love him and you trust him, press “send.”