Satire: President Hanbury leaves NSU to follow music dream

0
356

By: Ben Underhill

President George Hanbury announced recently that he will not be returning as NSU’s president starting with the summer 2017 semester. The announcement came as a shock as no other administrator besides Vice President Jacqueline Travisano had been informed.

“This decision has been thought out for quite a while now,” Hanbury stated in the announcement. “It wasn’t something to be hastily acted upon, but I believe now is a reasonable time to transfer power to Vice President Travisano.”

The vague announcement did not specify why Hanbury would be leaving, so the Current decided to investigate.

As it turns out, Hanbury has spent the past two and a half years not only brainstorming NSU’s 2020 Vision, but also writing a “fire” mixtape. The nine-song album, titled “Shark Attack,” describes Hanbury’s personal experiences both on and off campus.

“My passion for hip-hop has stuck with me since I was a teenager. I guess you could say I was hip to it before many NSU students were even born,” Hanbury continued. “These songs directly reflect different points in my life.”

One song that Hanbury is especially proud of is “No School for U(School),” his attempt to bridge the gap between the University School students and NSU students. The lyrics “Catch me looking too cool / catch me at the U School / catch me at Nova Southeast U” express Hanbury’s confidence in the One NSU concept. He did admit this song was the only cheesy song on the album, but he felt it was necessary to tie into his roots as NSU’s president.

Travisano mentioned she had her suspicions but never thought it would go this far.

“There were quite a few days I would hear rap beats coming from his office, but the door was always shut and locked so I could never see what was going on,” she said. “I always figured it was just his taste in contemplation music.”

Working with Aftermath Entertainment, the record label owned by rapper Dr. Dre, Hanbury hopes his first album delivers the same punch as famed wrappers like Dre, Eminem, Tupac Shakur, Jay-Z and, oddly enough, Macklemore.

“These rappers have each changed the [hip-hop] game in their own unique way. I’m hoping this mixtape makes its own impact on the industry,” Hanbury said. “I focused as much as I could on creating an alter-ego, Razor Bite. I thought to myself, ‘NSU is and will always be important to me,’ so I figured I’d incorporate it into my work in some way.”

Hanbury emphasized that this album was just the first of many and that a national tour was being discussed. He did confirm that the tour would begin and end at NSU’s Fort Lauderdale campus. “Shark Attack” will be available on iTunes, Spotify and SoundCloud at a to-be-determined date.

NO COMMENTS