Success Coach: Learning when to say ‘no’

My name is April Coan, and I am an academic success coach and the assistant director at the Office of Undergraduate Student Success. Throughout the fall semester, I will offer tips and suggestions in The Current, which will focus on topics like success in college and taking advantage of the unique opportunities available at NSU.

College is full of activities and opportunities, and every week there seems to be something new to do. Saying “yes” to these experiences is a great way to learn, grow and develop yourself as an individual, but sometimes it’s not always good to say “yes.” Sometimes you need to learn to say “no.” If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by work, school or your social life, try the following tricks to help you assess when to say ”no.”

  • Think before you commit. It’s difficult to turn down an invitation, especially when it’s something you really want to do. To manage your time more effectively, get into the habit of looking at your calendar or planner before you officially commit to an event. You can use your planner or phone calendar to make sure you don’t double-book events or schedule too many events in one day.
  • Set boundaries. Sometimes it may be difficult to say no because we don’t want to start a conflict, burn bridges or let people down, but if you get into the habit of saying “yes” when you really should be saying “no,” you leave the impression that’ll you always cave in to peer pressure. This is why it’s important to establish boundaries and let people know that when you say “no,” that doesn’t mean “yes” or “maybe,” it really means “no.”
  • As much as we like to think everything is important, some areas in your life are more important than others. When it’s impossible to do everything, sometimes you need to make tough decisions and say “no.” For example, if getting good grades on your mid-term is more important to you than your social life, you might need to turn down some social invites to find time to study. If you’re having a difficult time prioritizing, try writing down a list of all the things you want to do within a certain timeframe, then assess which activities are more important to you than others. For activities least important to your overall goals, you may want to consider cutting from your list.
  • We’ve all heard the saying, “if you want to do something right, do it yourself.” The problem with that advice is doing everything yourself can be very stressful and isn’t the best way to manage your time. Instead, learn to say “no” and try delegating tasks to other people in your group. If you give clear instructions of what you would like other members of your group to do, chances are they won’t let you down. With that said, next time you have a class or group project, fight away the stress by practicing the power of delegation.

Saying “no” is a very powerful tool to time management, so try practicing these four tricks this semester. Remember, time is a precious commodity. Once it’s gone, you can never get it back, so make sure you manage it wisely.

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