Things not to tell a cop when you get pulled over

You are driving on I-595, rushing to get to class. Suddenly, you see a police car on the side of the road. You look at the speedometer and you’re 20 miles over the speed limit.

You text your best friend and tell her, “OMG I need to slow down!” Then you apply the brakes slowly, hoping the cop won’t notice your deceleration. Too late — the lights go on and the police officer pulls you over. What do you do?

Your only way out is to talk your way out. But what do you say? That’s up to you but to help you out, here are 15 things you should never tell a cop who pulled you over.

1. “Please don’t give me a ticket. I don’t have a license yet.”

2. If in Arizona: “Hola!”

3. “OK, make this fast. I am sure you have to get back to Dunkin’ Donuts.”

4. “Nice boots, officer. Were you in the Village People?”

5. “If you give me a ticket, I’ll tweet about you and you’ll have to deal with Lady Gaga.”

6. “What do you mean if I know why you stopped me? No. Duh!”

7. “I swear I’m not laughing at your tight pants and big belly. It’s the weed talking. I swear!”

8. “If you don’t give me a ticket you can have the rest of my beer.”

9. “Bet your favorite song is ‘Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you?’”

10. “Show you my driver’s license? Show me yours.”

11. “You can’t stop me! I’m Lindsay Lohan!”

12. “I’m only in a rush to get rid of the body in my trunk.”

13. “I’ll give you my registration if you give me your number.”

14. “Will 20 bucks change your mind?”

15. “I’ve never been put in handcuffs before. Well, at least not by a police officer.”

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