I’d like to respond to a portion of Samantha Harfenist’s Opinions piece, “Please Make Them Stop.”
While Ms. Harfenist’s frustration at being subjected to “a screeching youngster” is understandable, and a sentiment the majority of us can relate to, I vehemently object to her characterization and stereotyping of families.
Children are naturally louder than adults, even when behaving normally. Parents or others who are with them daily become accustomed to the natural tones, while people without children tend to be more sensitive to their volume levels.
To presume that all children in a restaurant are undisciplined behavior problems with negligent parents is not only inaccurate, it is prejudicial and intolerant. Ms. Harfenist’s right to enjoy a meal she purchases at a particular restaurant is no greater and no less than a family’s right to enjoy the same.
Furthermore, Ms. Harfenist describes a recent incident involving an adult striking another adult because his autistic child was too loud. She states that autism is “not an excuse for bringing your biological noise-maker to a restaurant.”
As the parent of an autistic child, I find Ms. Harfenist’s comments not only highly offensive, but also quite uninformed.
Perhaps Ms. Harfenist should spend a day with the autistic preschool children here at the Baudhuin School, NSU’s cutting-edge early intervention program, to educate herself on how children with autism are taught. She could interview some of the professors here on campus who teach Applied Behavioral Analysis, one of the many forms of therapy used to teach children on the autism spectrum.
If these do not interest her, I know that the planning committee for the Autism Speaks Walk is always looking for volunteers, and the NSU/UM Center for Autism Related Disabilities could use an extra pair of hands as well.
Maybe the Autism Consortium, or The Unicorn Children’s Foundation Clinic would be open to accepting volunteers as well. What all these things have in common is that they are supported by Nova Southeastern University, and many are housed here on campus.
Of course, I could always ask Ms. Harfenist to explain to her fellow students here on campus, the ones diagnosed with some form of autism, why people with disabilities are not entitled to the same tolerance and understanding as people with different religions, skin colors, or sexual orientations.
And yes, I took my daughter to restaurants. Sometimes she had a meltdown that had to be dealt with, and I’m sure some people didn’t like it. However, had I not taken her to restaurants and taught her how to behave across different venues, she would not be the successful person she is today, fully included in a mainstream classroom, in the International Baccalaureate program.
If Ms. Harfenist would like, I can arrange an interview with my daughter, so she can hear what it feels like to be the recipient of ignorant attitudes and snarky comments. Or perhaps she’d like a glimpse into what raising my daughter has been like – the heartbreak, the frustration, and the constant hard work ? only to have some self-important stranger approach you in a restaurant and say “A good swat to the behind would fix that.”
Heidi E. Colston
