Where on God’s green earth are NSU’s recycling bins?

Picture yourself eating at the University Center with a few friends/enemies/frienemies. You’re all laughing and stuffing your faces, having a grand old time. Soon, all of you get finished with said face stuffing and then dump your drink containers and assorted wrappers into the trash, while you decide to be a bit more eco-friendly that day. You take your trash and walk around looking for a recycle bin, but you can’t find it.

You walk ‘round and around the place — somehow passing Subway more times than you should have to due to a wormhole that Jared Fogle must have had something to do with — but no recycle bins. So what’s a naturally lazy college student to do? Best thing you can do is give up on your quest to rack up on some karma points before finals week and deposit your trash into the nearest bin.

Little did you know, a poor, lonely, underused recycle bin was lurking just behind the stairs that lead to the RecPlex. Actually there are a couple of bins just up ahead near the Flight Deck, but hey, details.

Let’s face it. If college students were any lazier, we’d all have spider webs being constructed under our arms and badgers procreating at our feet. Recycling isn’t exactly at the top of our priorities; we’re all too busy being dead inside.

However, there are some green-conscious youths (ethically, I’m not allowed to call them “tree huggers,” but you all know who I’m talking about) around campus who would like to recycle when they can. There are also some average students who, once in the while, when Jupiter and Mars align just right, can be bothered to use the proper receptacles for their trash.

But where on God’s green earth are the recycle bins? Point a gun at my head and, after I get through with my undignified sobbing, I can think of only five recycle bins on this entire campus and let me tell you, they are not within lethargic shuffling distance.

Ignoring the discovery that there are some people who actually get annoyed when they can’t recycle (isn’t that precious?), the school has to realize that there is a serious problem with the lack of noticeable recycle bins on campus.

I’d bet that there are plenty more than five recycle bins around here (wouldn’t bet anything big, like my computer. Maybe my pen), but they’re strategically placed all around campus so that only the most worthy hippies who have braved the harsh deserts and frozen wastelands can use them. How, pray tell, is that fair to the trees?

Hell, I wouldn’t even care that much about the lack of bins if they were even used correctly when seen. You bend down and take a peek at any bin around, and you’ll see plastic bottles where there ought to be only paper and vice versa. Now, normally I’m not this anal about recycling, but my mother’s on this weird “go green” kick and I’m stuck sorting through trash until she gets down (which will probably never happen, so you’re stuck with me).

One student told me the reason that people don’t recycle is because there are places in the school where there are only recycle bins and not trash cans, so people throw trash in the recycle bins.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down? NSU needs more recycle bins, and if they have to get giant neon signs that flash and have Razor hold them up while he does an Irish jig for students to notice them, then so be it.

Students are lazy and busy, so if one of us actually has the decent desire to recycle, they shouldn’t have to traverse the land to find a decent recycle bin. Besides, everyone loves a good jig.

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