I’ve often been described as bubbly, friendly, outgoing and energetic. But, I have a confession to make. Beneath my smiley, enthusiastic demeanor lies a secret that you’re unlikely to guess, even after having several cheery conversations with me. It’s time to reveal … I’m an introvert.
Yes, that no-so-little, nine-letter word that’s often mistaken as a synonym for shy and is frequently seen as a shortcoming or even a weakness to be corrected, in professional and social spheres. But both those assumptions are dead wrong; it’s not introverts who need to change, it’s our perception of them.
Most introverts aren’t mysterious, antisocial creatures who prefer to spend all their days holed up in their room with a book and a frown, though we need a bit of time each day in relative solitude to recharge. The introversion-extroversion dichotomy is all about energy. Extroverts find social activities invigorating; interacting with others gives them energy. Introverts find social interactions draining, which doesn’t necessarily mean they hate or even dislike being social; it simply takes away, rather than gives them, energy. Shyness and its antonyms are entirely separate concepts. Unlike the Loch Ness Monster or a free college course, shy extroverts and outgoing introverts undeniably exist.
Think of introverts like myself as phones or other pieces of technology that require a connection to an outlet; we need to connect with ourselves a bit each day before we’re ready to interact with others. But once we’re ready, we’re often highly enthusiastic and full of color. Like a smart phone, most of us come with plenty of social capabilities and are delighted to use them, yet, if you stretch our time out too far, we may automatically shut down.
Don’t assume that people who deny a social opportunity are stuck up, unconfident or terrible friends; they may just be introverts. For us, an invite to a party isn’t purely a gift; it’s also equally a challenge — sometimes a welcome one, sometimes not. Just because an introvert denies a social invitation once, it doesn’t mean they hate all social events. I may not be in the mood one day, often due to earlier social activities that have depleted my energy, but I’ll embrace an opportunity with bountiful enthusiasm another day. So don’t lock introverts out of your social calendar completely. Though we savor alone time, we certainly can get lonely if left in our chargers for too long.
It’s also important to acknowledge that not all introverts are alike. Though I mentioned the “introvert-extrovert dichotomy” earlier, dichotomy isn’t quite the right word; it’s more of a scale. I’m close to the middle of it, as I happen to have many extroverted habits. For example, most introverts aren’t big fans of small talk, whereas I’m happy to discuss the weather and the latest hot news topic with the mailman or CVS cashier. I also adore public speaking. However, unlike most extroverts, I don’t find crowded parties enjoyable. I’m much more comfortable in small groups, free to chat away with close friends. My ideal weekend is spent by myself with a good book or Netflix lineup — the perfect oasis of relaxation that will recharge me for the upcoming busy social week.
Not only are many of introverts’ supposed disadvantages completely unfounded and false, but there are also many advantages to having an introverted disposition. Introverts are typically better than extroverts at focusing on tasks that require great concentration, including art projects, science problems and, my favorite, writing. Many introverts are also excellent listeners and observers, taking in and appreciating our environment, even if we don’t demonstrate it by chatting away.
So, although many employers claim they prefer hiring extroverts, since they view them as the energetic, friendly types, they needn’t worry. Many introverts have those qualities too, in addition to other valuable attributes that come with valuing alone time.
Introverts are also in great company. J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Charles Darwin, Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein and Audrey Hepburn are part of that club. Even many celebrities who spend their days chatting with people are introverts, including David Letterman, Matt Lauer and Barbara Walters. I earn my paycheck by surrounding myself with wonderfully talkative students, myself included, and I’m proud to brand myself with the “I” word.
If you suspect that you may be part of the same club as Harry Potter’s author or Microsoft’s co-founder, be confident. Don’t make excuses or see your introversion as a fault or even the tiniest bump on your road to personal, social and professional success. It’s simply a difference, not a weakness. This world is often built for extroverts, but by allowing yourself to savor the alone time that you need, and completely deserve, you can impress anyone — yourself included.
