Satire: ‘The Wannabe Feminist Manifesto’

Who we are

We the Feminists, also known as WTF, serve to support, promote and uplift women who deserve it.

Our principles

Feminism is not about the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social and economic equality to men, but it is about classism and appearance.

We will uplift and promote women who fit our idea of classy both in social and physical aspects. Your right to equality as a woman is automatically revoked when you neglect your own self-respect.  Those who show skin or take provocative photos will not be tolerated or acknowledged by WTF. Women have to learn that, if they want to be respected, they have to learn to put their clothes on. We believe that if men cannot respect you, neither can we.

Only some women deserve to be uplifted and supported, and, as a group, we can choose which female issues we choose to take a stance on. Issues such as efforts to defund Planned Parenthood and outlaw abortion are not matters that concern the female population. We are here to empower women who deserve to be empowered, and we do not care about social equality.

Our group will always advocate that female bodies are meant to be sexualized, and society is right to sexualize breasts and any other female physical attribute for commercial purposes. Because the image of the female body belongs to corporations and the media which promotes it, a women’s confidence in her own body does not give her permission to wear whatever she chooses. Her body must be covered, her stance must be reserved, and her nature must be classy.

As feminists, we speak for the entire female population and, therefore, have the right to say what a woman can wear, say and do. Any act against our provisions is seen as a cry for attention and a declaration of low self-esteem.

Our principles stand to stress that, before we can promote the empowerment of all women, all women must learn to respect themselves.

Our beliefs

  1. Women should hate all men to truly destroy the patriarchy
  2. Celebrating your own body is not a form of woman empowerment
  3. Twerking or any form of sexual dancing is absolutely prohibited
  4. Women should not wear makeup
  5. Women should wear pantsuits at all times, even while doing outdoor activities

Photo credit: pixabay.com

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Reply