Seriously Kidding: NSU to enforce a new dress code

Recent scientific studies brought to NSU’s attention proved students have a higher graduation rate when a dress code or uniform is enforced. Because of this recent development, NSU has decided that implementing a uniform would be the best decision for the student body.

“We just want everyone to have a safe place to work towards their education. If implementing uniforms are what is going to help our students, then that is the way it will be,” said NSU secretary of student unity, Nora Sanders-Ugas.

We aren’t sure of what exactly the uniform is going to be, but we are sure that it will be expensive. Sources say that the projected price of these prestigious, mind stimulating uniforms could cost up to $500. They will also look different for each year of college you are in. They aren’t particularly sure how the uniforms would distinguish each year, but I bet it will go by the color of the tops.

As for shoes, they have decided there will be no sneakers for anyone allowed on campus unless you are going to go work out. For everyday wear, they expect you to walk around in dress shoes or loafers.

NSU would also like to enforce a uniform for those using a gym. That means no more matching leggings with sports bras. They will expect you to be dressed in a gym outfit that will be separate from the uniform package. The gym outfit is expected to only be about $250 to order. And only NSU students will have these uniforms. This way it is easier to tell who students are and who are not. This not only maximizes your safety, but it makes the security’s job easier.

Nova Southeastern University is aware of how outrageous the uniform fee sounds so for a select few, they have decided to have different scholarships for the uniforms. The newly formed uniform committee has estimated the launch date of the dress code will be after the New Year. That will give students two months to apply for uniform scholarships or to get the money for them. They haven’t released any qualifications yet so remember to stay tuned in the future for more updates.

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