Too often, we discuss the ills of our society without acknowledging that social issues are not caused by pariahs living in isolation — instead, they stem from the people that make up society. To make any progress on these issues and shape the world into a kinder place, we must create a culture of accountability. That is precisely what Gillette works towards in its “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be” short film, made to go with the“#MeToo” movement.
Their website clarifies these intentions, “As a company that encourages men to be their best, we have a responsibility to make sure we are promoting positive, attainable, inclusive and healthy versions of what it means to be a man.” Boiled down, Gillette’s mission is to promote empathy and self-improvement, qualities any self-respecting human being would like to lay claim to.
But some people don’t see it like that. Some people are taking Gillette’s push in the right direction as a direct attack, and it’s not difficult to guess why: they see themselves in the film.
The short film explores persistent, common instances of toxic masculinity in American culture. These include phrases like “boys will be boys,” clips of media that frames sexual harassment as humorous and the idea that experiencing and perpetuating aggression is character-building for young boys. After these scenes, Gillette poignantly asks, “Bullying. The #MeToo movement against sexual harassment. Toxic masculinity. Is this the best a man can get?” They go on to say they believe in men, their ability to hold other men accountable, to do the right thing, to show youth that violence and aggression are not the best means through which to conduct one’s life. They even say some men are already doing it but that some is not enough.
Indeed, for those who have decided to boycott Gillette because of the ad, “some” is not enough. An opinion piece on Fox New Network claims the ad treats masculinity as “inherently bad,” and it asserts many men have decided it implies that men are “universal aggressors and rapists.” Maybe their audio cut out when watching the film, but the most likely reason these people ignore that Gillette directly said “some [men] already are [acting the right way],” is because they are not these men. They are the men who have not begun to separate themselves from toxic masculinity.
Some may indeed be sexual aggressors who rationalize their actions. After all, when 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men undergo rape in their lives, as listed by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, someone has to play the role of the assaulter.
But Gillette isn’t claiming that all men, or even all men that have a problem with the ad, are rapists. Instead, it’s challenging social norms that have gone on for all too long: rape myths that blame the victims, the idea that it’s an alpha move to talk about women like conquests and countless other attitudes that remain socially acceptable to perpetuate. It’s emphasizing that assault and harassment do not exist in a vacuum, and that we are all responsible for acting against the culture that allow them to happen.
Most men who are angry at this Gillette ad have likely been guilty of being bystanders. They’ve seen other men break boundaries with other women, use violent or dehumanizing language and put down other men for not living up to society’s concept of masculinity, which does happen to be at least partially toxic. Their apparent stubbornness at realizing Gillette is placing their faith in them to recognize their mistakes and change for the better is itself an aspect of their toxic masculinity.
If these men would step outside of their own minds for just two minutes and look around at the suffering they play a role in, we’d advance years in this movement. But they find their own pride more important. They’d rather flush their Gillette razors and ruin their plumbing than take responsibility for the role they have in the chronic occurance of gender-based violence.
