How do you get famous with no talent?

I may not have a six-pack (except for the one in my fridge), be able to turn into a werewolf or be on the run from Russian terrorists, but I can tell bad acting, and even a nice set of abs like Taylor Lautner’s can’t distract me from his lack of acting skills.

It wasn’t as apparent when his job was just to turn into a werewolf. Make–up artists took care of the hard part. But, when he has to actually express himself, it makes you wonder how he ever got to be famous.

And speaking of people whose source of fame is a big question mark, there is Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. From a distance, with his shirt off, he has potential. But then he opens his mouth, and all is lost in translation. He can’t even act out a reality script based on his own life, and unfortunately for Donald Trump, who he attempted to roast and bombed horribly, he cannot perform comedy. He is the joke, not the joker. Yet, he is famous.

I try to imagine that there was a time recently when people became famous because they had talent. Then I remember Paris Hilton. She was a TV star who couldn’t act, a singer who couldn’t sing and a writer who couldn’t write. The only thing she was ever any good at was making a sex tape and secretly leaking it on the Internet, and then appearing to be upset that it got out.

And speaking of talentless millionaires, Kim Kardashian became famous out of nowhere. One minute she was a nobody on a date with a famous singer, the next she was everywhere. She also made a sex tape with Brandy’s brother. And now she has her own show, her own brand name and the world watched her get married.

So, it seems women without talent get famous by making sex tapes and men without talent get famous by taking their shirts off. Either way, if you have your heart set on an acting career, you’d better look good naked.

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