They’re 1-7 and in the running to be the worst team in the NFL. Analysts blame the coach and Henne has never gotten a break. But I know the real reasons behind the biggest losers in the NFL.
Here are the top 10 reasons why the dolphins suck:
10. The coach is named after a fictional mob boss. Sometimes players miss practice just sitting in a diner wondering where they’re supposed to be.
9. Don Shula sends everyone steaks. A $30 steak can go a long way to clogging your arteries and slowing your gait.
8. Huizenga knows when to get out of a bad business. Even a man who made his name in garbage wants nothing to do with the dolphins.
7. Fans are unsupportive turncoats. They even started booing Henne in preseason.
6. They trade all the good players. (Pats still thank you for Wes Welker). Players even pretend to retire to get away (thanks for Junior Seau too!)
5. Remember when they passed on Drew Brees? ‘Nuff said.
4. The defense is in the locker room trying to locate the country of London on a map. Where’d you say we were, Channing?
3. Brandon Marshall can’t catch the ball because he fell on a knife the night before, and it landed in his catching arm.
2. Jason Taylor thinks he’s supposed to dip the opposing QB instead of sack him. Twinkle toes Taylor learned how to cha-cha but can’t dance around the offensive lineman anymore.
1. Ricky took all the good drugs with him when he left. Run, Ricky, run.
So, thanks Dolphins for giving all NFL fans something they can agree on — you suck.