Faceoff: Rejection

OK, I’ll admit it; I’ve had my fair share of experiences when it comes to rejecting guys. While some rejections have gone smoothly, beginning and ending with a simple “No, thank you,” others have quickly escalated to “I have mace, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Although I have no intention to be rude when a guy approaches me, it seems that being rude, or better yet, a (insert bad word here), is the only way guys will understand that I’m not interested. While I commend guys for building up the confidence to walk across a room and attempt to initiate a conversation out of thin air with a complete stranger, please keep in mind that not all women are looking for a relationship.

Somewhere between “The Notebook,” “Pride and Prejudice” and any recent issue of Cosmopolitan, guys have seemingly come to the conclusion that every woman in the world is in dire need of a happily-ever-after ending. This is certainly not the case, especially in the 21st century. These days, women are so much more than childbearing, stay-at-home moms (no offense, mommies; you rock). We are scholarly students, confident career women and beautiful bachelorettes who are entitled to reject in any manner we deem necessary.

There are many reasons women reject guys. Maybe she’s already romantically involved, maybe she’s too busy for a relationship, or maybe you guys are coming on way too strong. There is nothing more irritating than giving a guy your phone number and, 12 missed calls later, realizing what a huge mistake it was. There’s a major difference between being persistent and being annoying. Women like to be pursued, not annoyed.

And, contrary to popular belief, some women are, in fact, too busy for relationships. The term “busy” can be interpreted many ways, such as busy with school, busy with work or even busy hanging out with friends. The point being made is that some women don’t feel the need to place “relationships” at the top of their to-do list.

There are many other things that pique the interest and curiosity of a young woman in her 20s: traveling the world, learning new skills and hobbies and, most importantly, getting to know herself. There will always be a time for relationships, but the 20s are the selfish years meant to be filled with positive experiences and cherished memories, not exes and bad breakups.

Also, the initial approach used to start a conversation with a woman speaks volumes about the type of guy you are. For instance, I can’t speak for every woman, but I don’t like to be grabbed or groped by anyone, let alone a complete stranger. It’s extremely disrespectful and opens up a whole new category of “rude.” So don’t be surprised if the woman you’ve just aggressively grabbed responds in an obscenely vulgar manner. You asked for it.

Another reason some women reject men is he may not be her “type.” Low and behold, this is the not-so-sugar-coated truth, but it’s reality. Everyone in the world is different, with peculiarities about their likes and dislikes.

Though the girl you are pursuing may seem as if she’s everything you’ve ever wished for and more, it’s highly possible that she doesn’t hold you on the gold-plated pedestal you have her on. You could be the richest, kindest, smartest man alive, but there will always be someone who prefers the complete opposite. There’s absolutely no reason to feel badly about this; it’s simply her preference.

While many reasons factor into why women reject men, it’s important not to beat yourself up about it. Everyone’s been rejected at least once in his or her lifetime — even celebrities. Before Rihanna, Chris Brown reportedly attempted to dance his way to singer Ciara’s heart. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) she wasn’t interested.

“I don’t stunt her that much because if I know somebody’s not attracted like that, I’m not gonna push,” Brown said. “At the end of the day, you’re not blessed with everything.”

Even “Happy” singer Pharrell Williams was rejected by supermodel Tyra Banks. He said that he “thought they were friends and were going to hang out” but he never heard from her again.

Rejection is inevitable regardless of social class or net worth; it’s a part of life everyone must deal with and learn from. So the next time you get rejected, realize that it’s not personal, so, don’t take it personally. Just acknowledge the fact that maybe she’s just not interested.

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