I’m sorry, but we’re way too old to go trick-or-treating

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With Halloween quickly approaching, it’s time to get something off my chest, an important topic that continues to bother me every year around this time. If you are over the age of 13, you should not be going trick-or-treating.

Yes, we all want free candy — especially when you’re a college student who is seriously wondering when your next meal will be. But, dressing up and walking around a random neighborhood is not the way to do it. Let’s be honest here, it’s a little weird when you are towering over a dozen five-year-olds who are dressed up as superheroes. If you’re seriously okay with fighting off small children for the last Kit-Kat, you should be a little worried.

Not only should you be worried about your own feelings, but you’re also going to get a ton of backlash from everyone around you.

The kids are going to be angry that you are taking the candy, the parents are going to be angry because their kids are angry and the people giving out the candy are going to be irritated that you’re 18 and taking the candy they bought. They’re probably just thinking, “Why didn’t you just go to the store and buy your own candy?”

If you’re really serious about getting free candy, try going to a costume party instead — one for adults. Costume parties incorporate the Halloween spirit by allowing you to dress up and take all the free food you want, but you don’t have to deal with all the weird looks from strangers.

Of course, there are always exceptions. If you are taking a sibling, cousin or another small child out trick-or-treating, nobody can tell you that what you’re doing is wrong. At that point, you are kind of doing a service. You probably don’t actually want to be dragging around a little kid at 8 p.m. on a Saturday, especially since there are way better options. In that case, I’m sorry you have to hang out with elementary school kids all night.

Halloween can still be a night of decorations, dressing up and candy. Just, please, do not go around knocking on every door in the neighborhood. You’re way too old for that.

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