Satire: Meninisim: Men need equality

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Man, woman, dog, pterodactyl, ant: we are all the same. Yet the feminist movement has caused a paradigm shift, and men are now the ones who need equality.

Today, men are worrying about getting jobs while women just cruise into employment without facing any obstacles.Women are also earning more money and holding higher positions than men. Men have been forced to stay home and take care of the children, while women go to work and bring home the bacon. It’s unfair because a man’s role should not be reduced to a house-husband.

Some men may be OK with this role and want nothing else, but the blatant discrimination that prevents those whom actually want to work at jobs is simply unacceptable. What’s even more unfair is that some men who finally get to work alongside women are paid less, even though they are doing the exact same job. It’s so disappointing to think that just because of gender, there is an income disparity.

It’s also unfair that women get to wear whatever they want without being judged. Women can wear low-tanks top with cleavage peeking through or go bra-less, and no one says anything. But, as soon as a man wears knee-length shorts or goes shirtless on the beach, society sexualizes him and makes him feel like he should hide his body.

The latest controversy surrounding men is the “Free the nipple” campaign. A man’s nipple is sexual and obscene, while women can wave their nipple flag all over the place. How dare society dictate what men should wear?

Even worse, how dare society make a man feel guilty for his own body? If a man isn’t a certain weight or doesn’t have a certain figure, society immediately ostracizes him and makes him feel ugly. Not all men can look like the Hemsworth brothers, with taut abs and beach blonde hair. Everyone would be happier if that was the case, but it’s not, so stop pressuring men.

It gets even worse. Women are allowed to have multiple sexual partners, but a man could never do that. As soon as a man is comfortable with being sexual and chooses to have casual sex or have multiple partners, he is immoral, and society judges him for his sexual encounters. Statistics have even shown that men who have multiple sexual partners have a hard time finding a woman to settle down with.

Moreover, as soon as a man is nice to a woman, he becomes an easy target, and thirsty women who can’t take “no” for an answer prey upon him. A woman’s ego is so fragile that the thought of “no” sends her self-esteem down the drain, so she retaliates by making the man feel guilty. One could never imagine how awkward that must feel, to have to be careful how you reject someone because they might get offended. Wow, men really have it hard.

There is even a double standard when it comes to cheating; women can cheat and buy their spouses chocolates and roses and persuade their husbands to forgive them, but if a man ever cheats, a divorce or break-up is inevitable.

Then there’s the whole period debate. Men don’t have periods, and women constantly tease them for this. Men are made to feel like because they don’t feel cramps, they don’t know how to be tough. The absurdity of these claims just makes one realize just how stupid women are. Women are judging men on something they can’t control ― it’s not their fault that they were cursed to not have periods. It’s comical to judge a sex on things that they have no control over, yet women continue to do this and pretend as if they don’t.

A man’s life is plagued with discrimination, and he must tirelessly fight to break the gender norms. One can only hope that, one day, men and women will be equal and that gender-based discrimination will stop, but, until then, women can thank the heavens that they don’t have to deal with any of that.

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