Seriously Kidding: NSU to replace sidewalks with slip and slides

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With the daily rain showers in South Florida and timed sprinklers, the busy sidewalks on campus always seem to be soaked with water. To make traveling back and forth from class easier and less time consuming, NSU officials have decided to replace the sidewalks around campus with very long Slip ‘N Slides.

The change, which will take place in the summer of 2018, will result in major construction, as the commonly used sidewalks will be torn up. The sidewalks being replaced are those around Gold Circle Lake, leading to and from the dorms and around the library quad. The slip and slides will consist of three lanes: two lanes for sliding to and from class and a pedestrian lane.

The head of Sidewalk Management, Scott Concrete, explained why the change is for the best.

“There are many benefits to upgrading the boring cement concrete to something more fun and innovative,” said Concrete. “Nobody wants to have to deal with tripping over cracks or scuffing up their shoes. The traditional sidewalks get dirty so easily. This way, I won’t have to send my employees out every night to power wash the sidewalks. It’s a win-win.”

The Slip ‘N Slides are sure to decrease the travel time between classes by at least three percent. They will be fully-functional 21 hours a day, thanks to the abundance of sprinklers located around campus and the constant rain showers. The sprinklers will run for approximately 45 minutes every hour, with three five-minute breaks between. However, they will not be operational between the hours of 1 a.m. and 4 a.m.

Klarissa Glide, a junior math major, said that she was glad NSU was making more student-centered changes.

“I used to be very irritated when I was on my way to class and the sprinklers were pelting me with water,” said Glide. “Now, the sprinklers are being used for something fun and convenient! I don’t care so much that I am getting soaked now that I can slide to class much quicker.”

For those who do not want to slide to class, the bookstore will be selling raincoats and special rain boots that will make the walk less wet and dangerous. The boots to be sold will have special traction, so there is no worry about slipping and falling while walking on the slip and slides.

Overall, the plans to replace the sidewalks with Slip ‘N Slides have received many positive reviews from students and the faculty of NSU. Representatives say that this small change is the first of many in hopes to make NSU a more student-friendly campus.

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Gabrielle Thompson is a junior communication major with a focus in strategic communications. She started off as a practicum student last semester and is now the newspaper's features editor.

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