“I’m just thinking like, just because you ignore the question doesn’t make it go away,” said Christine Sane, junior political science major. Sane is one of several NSU students who attended an open forum held by Florida Senator Blake Fake to address their concerns about several topics, including the need for immigration reform, a discussion […]
Category: Satire
Seriously Kidding: NSU debuts social media platform Sharkchat
The popular social media platform, Sharkchat, has taken NSU by storm. The app allows individuals to send completely private pictures to their acquaintances for up to 10 seconds and even incorporates a news section to boot. On NSU’s campus, it is common to see students so engrossed in their “Shark-chatting” that they sometimes walk straight […]
Seriously Kidding: Students deny gender inequity because it ‘doesn’t impact’ them
In an effort to learn what NSU can do to better serve its community and join the fight against gender inequity both locally and nationally, President George Hanbury sent a survey to the student body on Jan. 1. To his surprise, the responses he received showed little interest in a need for social change. According […]
Seriously Kidding: Hanbury runs campaign to stop ‘Shark Pod’ challenge
The forbidden fruit is back at it again—but not in the washing machine. NSU may always be trying to put a saltwater spin on things, but president George Hanbury said that this time Sharks have gone too far. Beginning with an unregistered organization called Shark Challengers, students have revamped the “Tide Pod Challenge,” where teens […]
Seriously Kidding: Andy the shark is breaking more records
Andy, a tiger shark tagged by NSU researchers in Bermuda, is gaining a new kind of following. Since 2014, scientists at the Guy Harvey Research Institute have been tracking Andy’s path — making him the longest tracked tiger shark on record. With all these travels under his belt, it only makes sense that he’d want […]
Seriously Kidding: Thousands shocked that 2018 isn’t ‘automatically’ better than 2017
“I swear it’s like this exact thing happened last year, too,” said Sally Stuckinarutt, sophomore biology major. Stuckinarutt was one of thousands of individuals across the world who took to Twitter on Jan. 1 in utter disbelief that the year 2018 had many of the same problems as the year before. “New Year’s is supposed […]
Seriously Kidding: NSU to cancel final exams because of effects caused by Hurricane Irma
In an email sent to faculty and students on Nov. 17, NSU informed the community that they were cancelling each final exam for every course this fall semester on all campuses. The decision was made after a meeting with President Hanbury which occurred on Nov. 15. “These types of storms are very unusual in Florida,” […]
Seriously Kidding: Students who refuse to share their insight complain that their voices aren’t heard
A group of students, self-titled “The Union of Misunderstood Students” (TUMS), protested last week stating that their views weren’t heard by the university. When asked to elaborate on what these views were, none of the students were willing to do so. “Look, we shouldn’t have to explain what our problems are,” Ushud Know, senior biology […]
Seriously Kidding: Miracle rings saving turtles everywhere
Jon Shell, a ceramics major at Tortuga State University for the Arts in Landlodge, Wyoming may be the next great inventor to go down in history. For his sophomore biology midterm, Shell fashioned a new kind of plastic soda ring, which won’t get stuck around turtle’s necks. “I didn’t even expect to get an ‘A’ […]
Seriously Kidding: NSU to replace sidewalks with slip and slides
With the daily rain showers in South Florida and timed sprinklers, the busy sidewalks on campus always seem to be soaked with water. To make traveling back and forth from class easier and less time consuming, NSU officials have decided to replace the sidewalks around campus with very long Slip ‘N Slides. The change, which […]