Florida as paradise is an overstatement

Florida is paradise. That’s what my dad always says. The weather is what brought him here, like most people. However, the weather is what’s taking me away.

This summer it hit me. Florida is hot. This state shouldn’t be called the sunshine state but rather the sunburn state. From May to September, you can’t walk outside without wanting a shower.  This hot, hot weather is miserable, and it boggles me why people choose to live in it.

I was born and raised in South Florida. I experience heat year round, and I’m ready to call it quits. I want four seasons — not two seasons of hot and hotter.

I want to experience fall. I want to see the leaves change colors and fall off the trees. I want to start lugging out my boots from the closet and wearing sweaters and scarves. I want to walk outside in October and not sweat. Instead, over a month after fall officially began, I say a prayer for a little cold front just so I can wear my boots, scarves and sweaters, at least once before 2012.

South Floridians can’t go apple picking. We can’t watch the leaves turn orange, red and yellow. We can’t carve our pumpkins in the beginning of October because fruit flies will swarm like they’ve never eaten before. We can’t have bonfires without sweating because it’s still humid, muggy and warm. We can’t go sledding, skiing or snowboarding. We don’t drink coffee or hot chocolate because we actually need to warm up. We don’t huddle around the fireplace for warmth. We can’t build snowmen in our front yards.

When “fall” does hit in December, that’s all we get — a little cold weather and then back to the heat. All Floridians experience is cold weather in a warm state. We can’t do what Northerners do because we have no snow, and we can’t do what Floridians do because it’s not warm enough. We’re just stuck doing our same old routine with more layers on.

Now, I realize I say all of this without ever experiencing a Northern winter.  When I move and experience my first real cold front, I will probably freeze my Floridian butt off. I will probably complain that my face is too cold and I hate taking showers. However, I think I will have more praise for Northern weather than complaints.

I know I am a rare breed in Florida. Many escape to this paradise, but once I graduate my plan is to move far, far away.  And hopefully, one day, I can say I’ve experienced a white Christmas.

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