In response to what he says was an inflammatory comment made by the university administration, Andy Gree, sophomore biology major, posted a 15-minute Facebook video explaining “his side of the story.” For 12 minutes, Gree addressed the inflammatory comment which was “I know you are upset, sir.” Gree said he wasn’t upset and the attribution […]
Tag: Satire
Seriously Kidding: NSU to remove campus cats to make room for new ones
In an effort to respond to the needs of cats that live on campus, NSU announced that it will be relocating them to local alleyways and street corners to make room for more cats at the university. “Part of the 2020 Vision is providing a better and more lively life for the cats that live […]
Seriously Kidding: Student finds happiness by ‘filling the void with memes’
Sahad Mand is 19 years old, wears a knee brace and has a very large bald patch on the top of his head. In many cases bringing this up might be considered rude, however, it’s newsworthy because all of these symptoms, according to Mand’s doctor, are results of stress. Mand’s hair started falling out six […]
Seriously Kidding: NSU debuts social media platform Sharkchat
The popular social media platform, Sharkchat, has taken NSU by storm. The app allows individuals to send completely private pictures to their acquaintances for up to 10 seconds and even incorporates a news section to boot. On NSU’s campus, it is common to see students so engrossed in their “Shark-chatting” that they sometimes walk straight […]
Seriously Kidding: Hanbury runs campaign to stop ‘Shark Pod’ challenge
The forbidden fruit is back at it again—but not in the washing machine. NSU may always be trying to put a saltwater spin on things, but president George Hanbury said that this time Sharks have gone too far. Beginning with an unregistered organization called Shark Challengers, students have revamped the “Tide Pod Challenge,” where teens […]
Seriously Kidding: Shark to be added to Chinese zodiac animal list
According to Global News Weekly Digest, the Chinese Authority on Calendars announce on Jan. 11 that the shark will be added to the Chinese zodiac animal list. The revelation came just a month before the new Chinese new year which begins on Feb. 16. The changes will not take full-effect until next year when the […]
Seriously Kidding: NSU to cancel final exams because of effects caused by Hurricane Irma
In an email sent to faculty and students on Nov. 17, NSU informed the community that they were cancelling each final exam for every course this fall semester on all campuses. The decision was made after a meeting with President Hanbury which occurred on Nov. 15. “These types of storms are very unusual in Florida,” […]
Seriously Kidding: Students who refuse to share their insight complain that their voices aren’t heard
A group of students, self-titled “The Union of Misunderstood Students” (TUMS), protested last week stating that their views weren’t heard by the university. When asked to elaborate on what these views were, none of the students were willing to do so. “Look, we shouldn’t have to explain what our problems are,” Ushud Know, senior biology […]
Seriously Kidding: Miracle rings saving turtles everywhere
Jon Shell, a ceramics major at Tortuga State University for the Arts in Landlodge, Wyoming may be the next great inventor to go down in history. For his sophomore biology midterm, Shell fashioned a new kind of plastic soda ring, which won’t get stuck around turtle’s necks. “I didn’t even expect to get an ‘A’ […]
Seriously Kidding: NSU to replace sidewalks with slip and slides
With the daily rain showers in South Florida and timed sprinklers, the busy sidewalks on campus always seem to be soaked with water. To make traveling back and forth from class easier and less time consuming, NSU officials have decided to replace the sidewalks around campus with very long Slip ‘N Slides. The change, which […]